WarHams - Narrative Declaration

three two one go excellent sexy are you ready for another exciting episode of war
i see one person in chat who said no the whole thing's off sorry bye
we're done we can't save it we can't save it throw it i'm going back to bed i was gonna
read a wikipedia article in a funny voice all right that's good i'm going back to bed no so
it's all ruined yeah see you motherfuckers in hell no thanks okay thanks bye it's all
it's all absolutely terrible everything's going wrong today is the technical oh noes
episode because even i am dealing with things on my side hello everyone welcome back
to warhams this is episode 13 of warhams and and it's an odd
episode it's you know very odd number and stuff like that i just want everyone to be aware that
uh this is the last one of the year uh this is last one of the year this is on a december on
2020 it's been an interesting road with everybody and i hope uh warhams in a way has basically helped
you guys get through the year itself we greatly greatly appreciate you uh you know taking all of
your time to come over spend time with us and support the show and everything else and things
have been going super duper well
we've been extremely extremely grateful for your support and everything else so i appreciate you
all very very much so with that i do want to explain all the people or show off all the
amazing people who make warhams possible and bring it all to you so starting with
starting with speaker d our skitarii arranger who plays high brain i play my brain i am the
barbarian with a big sword and a bigger attitude and i also am a lead writer for if you ever had a
texas speech device and i also am the voice of vect and the emperor next up we have reeb van
horn our inquisitorial acolyte played by erin dill and erin dill is also a lead writer on if
the emperor had a texas speech device a voice director voice actor and other things as well
and also i can't believe you flubbed that line speaker you're fired
every time it cuts off
i am zorn the bear i currently am playing lorne i am a sanctioned psycher
you can find me at all the random stuff you currently see i voice leman russ and if the
emperor had a texas speech device uh next up we have captain zedek like captain out of the
debt collector ship that we all fly on he is our resident rogue trader and he is a
played by hulky crow yeah that's me uh i'm hulky crow i am a voice actor for if the emperor had a
texas speech device and a couple other assorted associated projects i play a bunch of other
screaming boys throughout the couple episodes also captain cave on shrike kaka kaka and i don't
have anything waiting today so i'm just gonna sit here and munch on some peanut butter and the one
who will be sending us on to the chaos void and making sure we suffer all the way which is exactly
how we like it
the game master austin hillman hello hello hello and unlike everyone else i'm not playing
cyberpunk i'm uh still firmly in trails of gold steel for anyone who's following it that's old
steel the hedgehog hey so for those of you who don't know um anything about warhams are completely
new maybe a friend told you about it maybe your friend's like dude you really gotta watch this
thing and you're just like this is weird and stupid i don't know what's going on uh warhams
is a teal top rpg live play show we use the wrath and gloom
glory system from for uh from cubicle sevens a warhammer 40k tabletop rpg game and what we do
kind of the game interaction with all of you to have all of you kind of like engage with the party
a little way and as another way to support the show we have a thing that allows you to basically
give us some dice now wrath and glory use um several dice system you'll see at the bottom
right basically on ways you can contribute to the show and if my stream elements wants to work
today then i'll basically document these i have to do all these things and i'm going to do all these
manually so say for example the dice at the bottom right of our overlay here you'll start
seeing it go up to four these four basically are ruined die the red chaos looking dice are ruined
die for the game master the game master uses these to do special abilities or to keep some
creatures alive or to enhance some things use psychic powers all sorts of things he uses these
to make us suffer he uses these to basically go hey guess what we should probably you know
our characters are really really strong so this is his way of kind of balancing the scales
because we can take on space marines because we're so powerful this is his way of basically
going you're not going to be able to you know completely overthrow this encounter so if you
want us to suffer then this is exactly a good way to contribute another thing that we have here are
glory die you see on the bottom left there these golden knives which are now kind of filling up the
little bar there glory die allow us to apply additional damage say for example if i see a
suck at strength checked with my character strength this one i'm able to spend these die
to kind of help make that check a little bit better and these are the ones that you can really
really help us you know get through the game with because these are commonly used we gain them
through dice rolls and we gain them through you so this is one of the best ways for you to help
us additionally you'll see under each of our portraits some dice which will now pop out now
with pie brain mr reed with me in captain zedek these are wrath die now the dice are the kind
of fists on them and stuff these allow you to basically or allow us really to re-roll filled
dice rolls say for example a bunch of filled dice whatever like at 40k whatever that we just re-roll
those dice to try and get a better result and uh you guys are also able to contribute to make sure
that happens as well so one of the quick things that i want to do as i try to fix a thing because
apparently my overlays are being really broken right now to give me some time how was everyone's
year so far i know it's been terrible but i'm going to try to fix it because i'm going to
i know it's been absolutely terrible in comparison with a lot of things but
as a quick thing how was everyone's year um i can't really answer that because it's still march
it's just you're just stuck in the past at least it feels like we it feels like 2020 was
uh january february march march march march halloween thanksgiving christmas
you forgot
um yeah i mean all things considered we got warhams going that's really exciting
uh right now i'm i'm willing to sit back forget the trials and tribulations of the year
and play cyberpunk 2077 until i die fuck off no also sorry what the fuck is wrong with you
why would you ask us how our years are going it's all going the same i mean there's some
differences is like i got to meet like a lot of amazing people throughout the year i got
we have to start up warhams which has been super duper super duper helpful so far we got to meet
all these amazing people currently in chat i got to work more closely with you guys which has been
an absolute pleasure um i got to you know make some life decisions which are very you know exciting
and stuff as well you know just there's some positive things that happened out of it and i'm
just buying time as i fix my stuff
that's a really good attitude great and i just fixed it yeah i mean it's it's uh i i feel like
you know being like oh you know obviously there's been so much fucking horseshit this year but
um if you know you've you've been able to sort of avoid like massive tragedy or you know even
even if you haven't uh being able to kind of focus on like the smaller good things that
happened this year i think is a healthier attitude than just
meeming
about how awful 2020 is uh it also is going to make you even more disappointed because people
were meeming about how awful the year was uh for like the past four years uh i remember the
memes in 2019 were well at least 2020 won't be as bad as 2019 so it's almost as if those years
were bad i know for various reasons i know except times are actually great times are great because
times are indeed great and i think we are going to continue on mr thurston hillman
what do you have for us today
yes let us let us begin well first of all uh as as you just said everyone's support is
awesome and we we really appreciate everyone here um but as we start off today's session
uh we've got some servitors who are looking after tater tot uh or at least trying to find
tater tot in the bowels of the debt collector where he has somehow been lost uh today's
servitors of note include commissar mcnab bryce branch and ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron
ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron ron
of note include commissar mcnab bryce branch hulk crogan dan menard chess 217 miranda drake
martin egenberger the cloptologist michael le and richard bledsoe what did commissar do to get
turned into a servitor that's fucked up i don't know i want to know more about the cloptologist
let's let's i don't i don't move on so those are all of our uh our amazing uh servitors and
you too can be a servitor by joining us on the patreon now we begin our session the last we had
our various cast of characters were incarcerated in the mortis carcerum after stumbling into a
trap two sessions ago pie brain made his way through the ducts of the station eventually
reaching a
you
happened command post where he overrode several systems and unlocked all of the doors along with
that we had our our new player character chonkis the huge as played by by zoran the bear temporarily
uh then we had captain zedek and reeb who have been helping chonkis out the road but where we
ended last session well it seems like we have a bit of a of a riot on our hands now
as the uh as the prison is now filled with with like rampaging prisoners and and arbeids desperate
to hold on to control and as we begin our session several combat suppression servitors have been
called in for what little help they have uh reeb and zedek you have come out to to stand beside
chonkis as this uh this affair intensifies turn on chonkis there we go yes
and so all of you all of you have come out you are seeing that there are prisoners all over the
place uh running some of them attacking arbeids some of them attacking servitors servitors
attempting to use riot shields or flame suppression units to to pin down prisoners
there is anarchy there is chaos it smells of fiseline and burning and there are screams
everywhere what are the three of you doing right now
hmm
well if there's one thing we can count on pie for it's starting a party
chonkis is immediately grabbing nearest individual and chunking them at all bite
you do that i'm going to uh can i do an awareness to see if i can find uh the path of least
resistance i want to meet up with pie do i have can i register a guess as to where the central uh
like where is he exactly he's in some kind of a situation where he's in some kind of a situation
you can give me a scholar check for that all right let me boot that scholar out
oh it's taking a minute oh you're almost here let's do it rotate let's go roll 20 there we go
i got a five uh you have a general idea you you could tell that he's probably on a on an upper
level from where you are they probably keep all the communications uh vox arrays and auspex units
for the lower prison portion on the sort of upper level of the lower prison now
all of that being said i just want to uh to now shift a bit to to what the situation looks like
oh boy i am huge look at me my token's amazing you're a two by two which means i hit you four
times with my flavor so you're all up on an upper uh upper gantry area uh kind of clustered
together having walked out of your cells chonkis has just finished uh hurling a man as an arbyte
but at this point you see that it is absolute chaos here uh in in in the prison um at this point
since it's kind of like a combat situation oh um yes quick thing someone did donate
okay i was actually i was just gonna wait till it's gonna be more dire to be honest with you
but they seem eager for it uh that that scholar check is a complication oh terrific
ah good ah good ah good uh you know what i have a perfect i think
complication for this which uh which will will make things quite quite nice um reeb can you give
me an agility test uh an agility test you say okay well oh well that's actually not terrible
because i got a five and a glory excellent excellent so the complication is is you are
you do you as you susses out and realize the direction you have to go there's a loud crash
bang above you as you hop out of the way from the duct above you as high brain falls down into the
area and now you can see
i enjoy that high brain is a complication yes uh anyone who has been watching our like 13
sessions so far knows that me introducing my brain into any scene is a complication for both me and
the viewers yeah it's like ah you guys you guys did really well unfortunately high brain is now
in the scene yes well luckily uh i i knew that would happen so i stepped backwards
friends orb meet welcome to the revolution i merely take an art by or an art by possibly
my half of my hands using as a club i'm really trying to smash
my brain uh well that being said we are we are kind of in a combatty situation here so
if you would like to use your first action chunk is to go and grab something like the
nearby server to throw no i grab high brain oh okay um yeah uh do you want to give me a strength
test strength test activated i complicate
that'll learn you
um i wouldn't have until i saw that complication
because i know other people's complications always wind up affecting me oh absolutely but
i was gonna make you look cool or just gonna write all right so uh chancas you're trying to
pick up but it seems that the spider you're attempting to eat is uh resisting chung what
is your intended destination for the spider
my intended destination is the spider
I was going to throw him at the nearest combat server towards basically the bottom.
We'll do the one that's kind of in the middle there.
This one here.
Okay, that one there?
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Okay, so here's the complication.
You're going to throw, but Pybrain's resisting, which is going to make this tricky.
Can you roll me a D8, good sir?
I can.
Roll.
Sweet.
1, D, A.
I think this is right.
There you go.
Three.
1, 2, 3.
Can you roll me a D10?
Oh, no.
1, D, 10.
Scatter.
7.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Did you just dwarf cannonball fantasy rules me?
Yes, I did.
Are you kidding me?
You rolled a complication,
so just be glad I didn't make you pull.
I didn't roll out the artillery.
Tell me how I fucking Australian brain to go behind me.
I feel like I just clipped through the wall and I glitched over here.
We're probably G-Bod now.
Don't worry about it.
Just deposing through prisons.
I am throwing him in one direction and he flies up behind and lands.
Okay.
And with that, you sort of land, like, having been attempted to hurl,
but struggled against.
And instead being basically flung back, hit the wall.
With that, you can see that my action now gets to go.
And I am going to start by activating this servitor right here,
which is coming up to you, Chonkas.
I'm going to punch him when he gets here.
And this servitor is like, you see it coming towards you,
and it's sort of got these these flailing apparatuses of these.
Oh, that one's got sealed hands.
You don't know how to identify your token.
I'm just going to put this right here.
There's the suppression servitor.
It has all sorts of tubes that are, like, sprouting out foamy liquid,
like fire suppressant, but it's coming towards you and seems to be
more interested in raising up its hands or, well,
tentacular limbs in some kind of attack.
Boop.
It did a three.
Try next time, fool.
Actually, I did not have it set up properly.
One second. Oh, I see.
There we go. I rolled a one.
So even worse.
And you have a three.
So, Chonkas, you managed to to easily dodge out of the way of this.
My massive, my flailing inflatable servitor.
All right.
So with all of you, who would like to go next?
I rolled to incinerate Chonkas.
No. Fuck.
Oh, no.
You're taking up four spaces by rules because you're taking up four spaces.
I knew Chonkas was going to expire.
Chonkas is his only pawn in Game of Life.
Are these idiots menacing us?
I mean, they're all, like, wielding shanks and various, like,
implements like pipe wrenches and they seem to be using them.
They're just looking for a fight.
I forgot.
I don't have a weapon, so I can't fire.
Correct.
Uh.
We can.
You actually wait.
You have expired them to join our side.
No.
What were you saying, Thurston?
You have the radium pistol.
I do.
That's true.
I didn't give it to anyone because what's wrong?
You don't want cancer.
No, I just didn't want a little cancer.
It's it's not the same.
I'm better at crowd control than I am.
You know, for all that matters, I may as well just like.
So which one did Chonkas attack?
He tried to attack this one.
He didn't really.
Yeah.
He tried to throw pie at that one.
If you count that, isn't it?
Absolutely.
Terrific.
That one walked up to two.
You have a suppressor to the south of us here.
So you can.
I know that one.
And Zedek could possibly, like, inspire the prisoners to be on our side.
And so is there a door over here?
No.
If it's blocked off there, there does not appear to be an obvious exit.
Do we know where the hell we need to go?
Because I'm assuming the goal is not to kill everyone in here,
because that would either take a while or be completely unfeasible.
You guess it's kind of up northwards.
I don't know.
We slaughtered an entire church of ratlings like multiple times.
In fact, those were those were ratlings.
It's like, I mean, we killed a whole bunch of mice.
Wait out the contrast of Zoran's introspeech.
Like, we can fight space marines.
And then I'm like, I'm going to throw some guys with shanks in a few clubs.
And we're like, well, here's the thing.
Here's the thing, Thurston.
We haven't fought that before.
We fought ratlings.
We fought beavers.
We fought Necron garbage in one object.
We fought tiny, shitty Necrons.
We haven't fought people.
We fought that tomb spider.
That was pretty good on our part.
Yeah, but that was one enemy.
It's easy to focus down one enemy.
This is a lot of dudes.
To that knowledge, I will probably.
Can I vault this and just like go down here?
Yeah, absolutely.
Because I want to I want to move and then I want to shoot.
OK, yeah, absolutely.
So movement is that.
Oh, great.
It's not a whole lot, but I can get to here and still hit them, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
Will that be a penalty?
No.
I will hop down here.
OK.
And I will because I don't have the radium pistol equipped as a weapon because I wasn't planning on using it as a weapon.
But now that shit's happened, I guess I have to.
I've got the necessary info if you want to fire it.
I can tell you what to do.
Yeah, I'm going to throw a ballistics out.
Yeah, throw the ballistics out.
I get a six.
OK. And which one were you targeting?
I was targeting a fire control guy down here because I don't want him hassling these two as they come along.
Oh, yeah. OK, perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect.
OK, yeah. So you definitely hit.
You can, in fact, shift two exalts on this, so you'll get plus one damage.
The damage on a radium pistol is seven with one extra dice.
However, it it is it is rad.
So you actually get to roll me.
Oh, yeah.
So you actually get to add two to the result of of your extra dice.
So roll me, roll me a d6.
And on basically anything but a one, you get a perfect.
And that counts as an exalt.
So that will actually give you two.
Two extra damage and then you get two extra damage.
So you do eleven, eleven damage to the servitor because of how radioactive weapons work.
I can aim really good.
Well, you can aim real good.
And once you do that, you.
I think, yeah, dead on the nose, you just pop this servitor.
It starts fizzing and flailing its limbs around and then collapses into a heap.
Good job, Reem.
The meet the sniper theme starts to play.
I'll do you a favor, Exalt.
That's why you're my favorite petting with the voice.
Not right now.
I love you, Reem.
Not right now.
Get down.
That discussion is going on across the din of combat over here in the corner.
The far, far corner.
You hear a familiar voice.
Oh, you think you can escape?
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Hepas don't believe me, such jokes aren't helping.
No, Taggadour, Taggadour is going to stop you.
Go get em, boys.
And I-
Why would you want to stop us?
Chankas does not think that makes any sense.
He's trying to-
I was like-
You guys.
Why!
It's like-
Chankas.
Chankas, he's trying to kill us.
Well, we can work together.
It makes no fucking sense.
Chankas, he hates you.
Chankas, Chankas you hate him and he hates you.
I hate him, but we could-
He hates Yusuf.
It's a professionalism with Hitman in which you have to, you know, tolerate people you hate to get the job done.
There's no professionalism here!
Eat him!
Zedek or Pybrain.
Tongus is a professional beater. Now you shut up.
Wait a second.
And Pybrain will point at Tongus.
That's not a Jakario!
I'm going to throw you again, Spire.
Alright, well.
Unless Zedek would like to go, I have an evil scheme.
If it involves brutally slaughtering those five, I would ask you to hold off until I try and recruit them.
Oh, no, I'm not going to fuck with those three.
Oh, fuck it then.
I count. Number? What? Anyway.
Wanna try that again?
We're tired.
I think we're all a bit exhausted this morning.
You wanna try that again?
I am going to interpose myself here.
Now this.
This presumably is funneling the...
raw slug being produced over here, yes?
You could guess there's some kind of connection there.
You're not sure on the specifics of it.
Utilizing the New Sphere, can I cause this object, perhaps, to overload?
No, no, no.
This is not a facility that has, like, advanced wireless New Spheres.
This is a bare bones.
I mean, if you give me a narrative declaration, I might let you go.
Can I sweet talk the poop tank into exploding?
I think I am, because I was in the Panopticon, which means I know all.
So I will use a narrative declaration to determine that.
See, this is no but. This is how you properly GM.
Mark off that wrath point, please.
All right, give me a tech check.
All right.
I'm going to say the DN here is going to be pretty high.
We're going to go with a six on this one.
All right.
How much glory do we have?
I'm going to drop all of it, if you don't mind.
Take it.
That's good.
That's fine.
I love how unified you are on spiting me.
Carry on.
Fuck you.
I'm going to gesture towards them all as I'm hacking into the New Sphere.
You fools!
I have the authority to kill a majority!
A 12.
I don't do it, pig.
I don't do it.
A 12 for those listening on the phone.
For those listening on the audio.
Because speak D hates me.
All right.
So you want to overload it and cause it to...
I want to cause it to erupt in molten slag and hopefully deal with anyone close to it.
Yeah.
As well as force people over here to have to go through over here, which is way easier to deal with.
Okay.
Okay.
I see what you're doing here.
All right.
So I'm just going to...
So what did we determine was in that tank?
Molten slag.
Molten slag?
Probably like the detritus of the gas mining that's going on here.
So you're looking like something like that.
Yeah, sure.
Let's have this happen.
Okay.
Sure.
Let's have this little explosion happen.
Roll me...
Roll me 6d6, please, speaker.
Of course.
Yes.
Now you will see the fruits of my labor.
One, two, three, four, five.
Yeah, sweet.
So they're all dead, right?
Now there's a static explosion in that area.
It's just in slow motion.
There we go.
It explodes at a massive, massive display as like billowing flames and like magma is coming out.
It instantly consumes almost just over a half dozen men and the servitors back off from it as it has turned into this immense fiery conflagration in the center of the room.
All right.
I'm going to quickly point at this guy who I now presume is the leader.
Spylas, this is what's going to happen to you in a few minutes.
I am lucky.
I guess he is.
I can't argue with that.
I'm at home.
I have no dialogue.
I'm just lucky.
Yeah.
It's like talking to an oblivion NPC that you weren't supposed to be talking to.
It's like, I will kill you.
Have you seen any mud crabs recently?
I am the dragon's earth.
I am the dark souls character you've been warned about.
I put all of my points in luck.
Oh, fuck.
He's going to use honorary straight sword.
Take cover.
All right.
I am now going to activate this cemetery.
Who is going to begin fire suppression of the fire that's been created.
Do you see?
And you see all of these, like, these, actually, no, wait, that one can't.
God, that one's one of the shield ones.
Okay.
Shit.
This one here goes frigging ballistic and jumps down off the railing and starts moving.
And you just hear this fire detected, fire detected as it rushes forward and begins.
Just like hosing down the flames with fire retardant foam.
Okay.
That's that.
That sucked up my next action.
Zedek, you're up.
Sure.
Pie, that was not selling at all, but it certainly was deadly.
And I will saunter over to these wonderful characters.
Look, I don't like you.
You don't like me.
But if you want to make out of this and have a really cozy job with benefits, I suggest we work together.
Okay.
Do you want to give me a leadership test for that?
I would be happy to.
Yeah.
What are, list the benefits as you inspire them, Zedek.
Well, benefits include possible pay, but mostly high-grade amphetamines and percentage.
Possible pay?
And, like, the guy in the front's like, uh.
We've got drugs, we've got meat, and we've got upgrades.
Is there a reason I shouldn't like you?
I might like you.
You might be a person I like.
Why would you assume I wouldn't like you?
I think you're a big boy, and I think you should join my crew.
Well, I mean.
I don't think I would ever call someone and say, yeah, you're a big boy.
I don't think I would ever want to say that to another dude.
Well, he's a big guy to me.
Zedek just walks up to him with, like, his thumbs through his belt loops and say, you're a big guy.
Like, that would make me so uncomfortable.
Isn't that, like, Zedek's MO?
It's just making people feel uncomfortable.
I'll kind of pay you and call you a big boy.
Okay, one sec, one sec.
I'm going to.
It's going to be a seven.
Gosh, okay.
Gosh, what's a good thing?
I am going to test against their resolve on this one.
We'll see.
We'll do an opposed test.
Hi, Brain.
You got your breath back?
I will roll stupid well, but I will still fail.
So, yeah, the leader of that group said, cool.
You know, I'm still not sure why you would say that, like, you don't like us.
I mean, maybe we could do something to prove that you should like us.
You're just a bunch of friends.
Look, what's not important, you'll get guns, you'll get drugs, and you'll get barbecue if you come with me and help kill the rest of these mooks.
I mean, I kind of like barbecue.
Okay.
That sounds good.
Guys, yeah, barbecue.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it really sounds good, everybody.
We should definitely go in there and follow that guy.
Yeah.
And convince everyone else around us.
Yeah, yeah, we can do it.
Yeah.
Okay, you have charmed this group, Zedek, to your cuss.
Awesome.
Do they count as devotees?
Yes.
Yeah, they do.
To explain the chat for those who haven't seen this in a while, because we haven't really been using it, is that devotees, so Rogue Trader can get something called devotees.
So they're basically lookout sirs, so if you ever played 40K and you had that role, like, no, sir, don't die, and they take the wounds for the captain, that's literally what these guys are now.
They basically jump in and are like, you're going to take damage, Captain Zedek, and then they just jump in front of them and die.
That's all that they're good for.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
We're going to have this group go first.
Go this way.
They are just, like, rushing forward with various prison weapon implements out.
They come up behind the servitor in front of you, Chonkas, and they are attacking.
Rolling terribly, but hitting.
I don't know why do they have that.
Oh, I see.
Ignore me.
Okay.
But they hit.
Oh, yeah.
And they, like, manage to grab this servitor and toss it down, and it shatters on the ground here.
And Chonkas, you see now that there's just this angry mob of prisoners coming towards you.
That one's done.
He's mounted now.
At this point, it's kind of the end of the round, so I'm just going to start doing some moves.
This mob starts making its way over here.
You can see Tagador is following up.
These ones are kind of rushing over to here.
These ones are kind of coming down to there.
The servitor jumps down and starts making its way.
Fire detected.
Fire detected.
As it is heading towards the roiling inferno here.
These ones, this suppression servitor comes up, and with its improvised bashing array...
...goes down.
Goes to...
...smash with its suppression weapons.
Boop.
Hitting the mob and...
...taking out one of the guys.
Beat it up.
Beat it up.
This one does a similar thing.
Kind of comes up.
Ooh.
Crits.
Thanks for the audio.
The prisoners are basically going around beating up the servitors right now.
Yeah.
You can see the dice and stuff for them.
And essentially there's some servitors who've gone up and crumped some of the prisoners in the lower levels.
And then a whole wide variety, almost like 15 or so, of the prisoners are on the upper gangplanks, catwalks where the PCs are.
With Chonkis sort of blocking the path.
Alright, that's the end of the first combat round here.
Second combat round.
Who wants to go first?
So I can...
I have two options at least for Chonkis.
I can either intimidate the entire line of prisoners charging at us on this railway and convert them to our side so we have more armies, I guess, and Tarkador's all by himself.
Or Chonkis can just charge through them in a special splendor.
Or if you all just want to kill them, Breve can flamethrower if he still has his thing.
Or someone else can do something else.
He doesn't have his flamethrower.
That's up to anybody else.
So if Arendelle, if you want Reeb to go flamethrowing, that's up on you.
I don't have a flamer.
We don't have any air weapons.
I haven't sawed, though.
That's pretty neat.
So do we want to conscript these people to our cause or destroy them?
I would prefer we just book it because they're all up on the catwalk up here.
And if they end up jumping down, they'll be in the midst of that servitor, so I don't really mind.
Chonkis is going to kill Tarkador.
Rather you don't, you don't know.
Chonkis go extra.
You like that very much, actually.
Thank you.
I have a question, DM.
Yes?
So I have asserted control over probably not the entire facility, but at least a substantial part of it.
During that control, would I have had an opportunity to find and obtain our weapons?
No.
You can tell your weapons are somewhere on the upper level.
Ah.
Wow.
Ah.
I do have an evil plan, though.
I can disrupt the majority of these prisoners again.
They're in a perfect place right now.
Did someone give you another wrath point?
Yes.
I have a question for you, actually, before you go slaughtering people again.
We need to find Lorne.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Did you find out where he was when you were doing all your gallivanting about somewhere on the other side of the station?
We all know Lorne is in the deepest recesses of the station.
It's why it's not exploding right now.
Chonkis, you hear the deepest recesses of the station and immediately think of one particular place on the station.
Oh.
You don't want to go down there.
That's where they keep the demon.
Wait.
Fucking excuse me.
All right.
So that's the, like, talky bits you get before the combat has begun as all the prisoners are, like, pleasantly waiting for you to have your narrative moment.
Who wants to go first, fuckers?
I'll just have Chonkis, like, charge through so we can just destroy Tagador.
That's the plan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
So just give me a weapon skill.
Yeah.
So this is a complicated thing.
Basically, because this is weird because there's no, like, line attack, what I'm doing.
I am hoping to charge all the way through them to get the Tagador.
And if that's too far fetched, I'm okay with spending a raft as a narrative thing.
So you don't have to spend a narrative declaration here because essentially each of these three kind of groups of prisoners that we have here, I'm treating them as a mob.
So you can move up and attack.
And if you, like, depending on how good your attack is, I'll just basically let you run through in front of the second.
So you can't do all of them in one round, but you can get, like, halfway there if you make an attack.
So let's do this.
Yeah.
Come up and I do murder fish.
As I found a dice to which to roll.
And that didn't work for some reason.
It's like, why didn't it work for some reason?
Oh, I see why.
One second.
It's because I did not set it as...
There.
It's fixed now.
Wow.
All complicated.
You'll hit, though.
You'll hit.
Oh.
I don't like that.
Talk is...
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
I guess.
It's like, uh...
You have to go through with it now!
And I do eleven damage.
Uh, yeah!
That's gonna be real sweet.
Uh, that will kill the first four of them.
Good.
Even though...
...you will essentially, like...
Holy shit.
...run up into there...
Well, what does spin a dart point...
...as you are hurling them off...
The dunes talk is smush!
It's amazing how you spin a dart back, and an attack is a free action against any target
in range.
Uh, that's the thing.
You do have some...
Some spin...
abilities there, so
are you going to use Chunk of Smash?
Okay, so mark yourself down a wrath point.
So I just murder fist again, or?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Just make another attack.
I'll even count it as a second.
And I crit the last guy.
I basically
want to, like...
You can ship three exalts on this, so
I don't think I need it.
Well, yeah.
I was going to say, it's 12
at the base. I take the guy
up, and I'm like, Chunk of Smash!
And then I, like, rip him
apart, and then I throw
the corpses at the rest of them,
and I'm like, Tegador will
no longer survive!
Chunk has destroyed Tegador!
And I'm, like, just
charging in.
You rush through the first four,
like, tossing them aside like toys.
Get to the one remaining guy.
Spend that wrath point
to basically just, like,
rage-grabbing the guy
and using him to bat others aside,
bowling through until you reach
the end, and then make your statement
to Tegador. This is where the complication
is going to come in.
Because
out from the ceiling
you hear
this cherubic
voice. We wish you
a merry Sanguinala.
We wish you a merry Sanguinala.
And you are utterly,
utterly fascinated as a barbershop
quartet of cherubs begin
to descend from the ceiling and
sing this
Sanguinala Christmas
theme. I would like to thank
our patron Nola for
merry Sanguinala the complication,
which just utterly, like,
pauses, like, Chunkus'
rage as, like, ooh, nice
Christmas music. Well,
St. Bublé is fucking us over.
Okay. Patron folk, we're gonna
have a fucking conversation at some point.
Y'all guys, I don't think anyone
figured out, with all the guidelines
we put in, what the fuck a complication means.
We're having a talk.
There's gotta be some post, mate.
Alright, and that's the
end of Chunkus' go.
I guess next up, I will get
to pick.
They're just gonna rush over here.
The prisoners begin clamoring up.
Yeah, and they actually
will join with the...
Sorry, what?
Were they on the bottom floor, or were they on that other railing?
No, they were on the top.
Yeah, they just came down.
Then there's these two who are coming up.
Alright, so, basically, a group of them
starts rushing. Piebrain,
you turn in time to see four of them that have come
up straight in front of you. They're all
brandishing weapons and whatnot.
Yeah, yeah, that's
it. Who would like to go next?
I am...
One more time.
One more time, Piebrain.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just thinking real quick.
I want to give my last gun to...
Did I give my last gun to Zedek last session?
You did not.
No, you still have a last gun.
Yeah, Zedek, if you want it,
I'm cool waiting to see what you guys do,
but if you want my last gun, I'll give it to you
if you want to interact with me.
Maybe? I was gonna say,
unless you're
gunning to get into these guys
with your 5G,
I could try and turn them
and make a second team?
I'm okay if you want to just kind of...
No, no, go ahead.
Go ahead. No, absolutely.
I could kill people all day. I love it.
It's so nonchalant
about it, too.
Someone just voice clip
it and put it as their text thing.
You can just kill people all day.
Statements said in Warhams
can and will be used against you
in a court of law.
It seems you're on this online show,
Mr. Speaker, and it seems you like...
Oh, two of them, and the other one,
I play a bagpipe elf.
It's like the lead guitarist
of Cannibal Corpse
had a bunch of bodies in his house,
and he wrote songs like
I keep bodies in my house,
and I drink from skulls.
I don't know the whole story,
but it's like...
I'm letting Zedek go.
Zedek, what are you doing?
I'm gonna try and convince these guys, too.
Look, I just sold them
on beef and guns.
I don't know how...
Are you guys willing to listen?
Do you want jobs?
Do you want more guns, more beef?
I can hook you up.
We can get out of this.
You can get everything you want.
Trust me, the lower decks of my ship
are an absolute hellhole.
You'll fit right in, and you're totally free.
What do you say?
I'm gonna leadership it.
Yeah, leadership that for me, please.
It's gonna be a two.
Who can't?
I'm happy with this.
I'm absolutely happy with this.
Let's try it again.
Okay, I've done a kind of four,
so it's gonna be a six total?
That's gonna be a four.
Okay.
I mean, you've got some glory, too.
Can I dip into that?
Take those last three glory?
Yeah, that's fine.
Let's go with me.
Everyone else is good.
Toss me 3d6.
I got you.
Here they come.
It's gonna be...
Goddamn.
Two sixes, so that's eight total.
Oh, jeez.
And I utterly...
I botched the resolve test so badly
that they would have failed
had you not used the wrath
or the other stuff.
And I complicate.
Remember, folks,
whenever you do donate for complications,
it has to be on a roll that we didn't complicate.
Oh, I know exactly what this is going to be.
Oh, I've been waiting for this complication
for a while.
The four of them look up at, like,
they're like,
there's this moment
because you turn away
from the first group you've converted.
Get ready to, like,
Dale Carnegie, the second group.
And the first one looks at you
and kind of pauses
and stares into your eyes.
It's him.
It's him.
And he looks.
It's the author of Zetiquette.
And...
Not this again.
And all four of them are just like,
the author of Zetiquette.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Will you sign our copies?
Sign your copies?
I'll let you be a resource
for the next chapter on prison etiquette.
Please, please.
And, like, I'll let you convert them
if you spend the rest of your action
moving up a square towards them
and signing their copies.
I will happily move up a square.
Okay, so you continue your action doing this
and, like, grabbing them.
And there's four books that are handed off to you
that all these prisoners are keeping on them.
One of them is different.
One of them, like, doesn't have
the usual style of Zetiquette.
One of them is kind of like a green notebook
that has, like, a lot more flourish
than your book has on it.
What?
You there!
With that green book!
What is that?
Here, maybe you could sign this, too!
And on it,
I am going to call out,
I am going to call out,
Blake Thatcher
for this beautiful complication
entitled Self-Help Switcheroo.
As, um, Zetik,
you are handed a copy of
M'Lady,
A Guide to Ladykilling
by Slyburgo de Fuckerby
the 24th.
Oh my god.
As he hands it to you.
You five.
You four.
Uh, well, the other team were the barbecue boys,
so you're the big guys.
He handed me a copy of my rival's book.
Kill him!
Kill him now!
Oh god.
Make him fall into the sword, Hiltz!
And, um,
and yeah, I will say that
for the next action, that this poor man
is brutally murdered by his, uh,
by his erstwhile compatriots.
Um, who would like to go next?
That's my action.
I don't have anything of importance
that I'm doing, so if anyone else has
any actions they want to make,
which is nobody, I think.
I have a few ideas.
Go ahead.
Because I'm just, I'm just moving towards
the way out of here.
Seeing that we have this situation
pretty fucking well in hand here,
I don't feel inclined to protect
my friends at the moment.
Oh, of course.
Because there's three idiots,
and these guys now just mathematically
have numbers over, um...
And Chonk is on a revenge murder spree.
Yeah, exactly.
You can just leave him if you want to.
Well, I thought we were gonna take him out.
I mean, Chonk is is.
I'm saying, you guys don't have to.
Like, Chonk is a figure of life, probably.
I believe in helping our ally,
even if he is a giant sponge.
Um,
so I'm going to
come down here.
Walk.
I'm sorry, it's been a second
since I've had to tabulate moves.
So you hop off the railing down?
Yeah, hop off, hop down.
I'm gonna get as far as I can.
Mm-hmm.
Around your self-made fire,
which, admittedly, is nowhere near burning as bad
because I've had several server...
Well, I've had a server to rush up
and, like, start spraying it down.
Yeah.
And I'm going to, uh...
Spend...
If I need to, I'll spend another wrath to do this.
I'm going to try to
hack into the mainframe
that controls these servitors.
And I would like to convince them
to join our side with a tech check.
Spend me a wrath point first
for a...
narrative declaration.
There you go!
Like, you don't get to, like,
push one past me that quick.
And then, yes, give me a tech check.
Excellent!
Let me see.
We have a grand total of no glory left.
Excellent.
That's okay, though, because I am a tech priest.
I'm a tech priest!
I'm a tech priest!
This is gonna complicate this chat, don't worry.
Ah, God!
Well...
What is it with the universe?
And me and you, and the universe
just using you to hurt me?
I hate you.
Yeah, with a 12...
This is the curse you have placed upon yourself
by choosing to play this game with us.
It's fair.
It's true.
It's true.
Yeah, you are able to access
and begin overriding the servitors.
You can't get them to directly assist you,
but you can essentially get them to
go into, like, stand-down mode,
where they won't engage you
or any of your allies.
That is a-okay with me.
I'll flag all of our allies,
as essential personnel.
Okay.
And I will let them just continue mopping up
those that are not marked as essential personnel.
Okay, I'll just also mark
the new team here.
Okay.
Then that leaves it with me.
Tagador.
Tagador looks
at you, Chunkets.
Oh, so this is how it will be.
Well...
And he, like, takes the
pipe wrench and sort of
balances it in one hand.
We always knew it would come down to this.
All right.
Here we go.
And he steps up and attacks you, Chunkets.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, he's-
He's a spy. He's going to face-stab you.
He's stair-stabbing.
Whoa.
Oh, damn.
He does-
Chunkets would like to look at him, didn't he,
and say,
I'm also very low-key.
That rolls the complication things to chat.
Oh.
Oh.
Ooh.
It's a complication and a crit.
Yeah.
No, no, it's a complication.
That overrides, sadly.
It's a complication.
All right.
I'll do 11 total damage.
What's your resilience there, Chunkets?
Chunkets' resilience is six.
Okay.
Okay.
So you will take five.
Well, you can actually roll me determination
to reduce this.
Yeah.
Let me see if there is a determination.
I got to find it because he's got a different...
Here's the power of Undertale.
Here's the power of Undertale to survive.
As for the...
It's for the complication.
Chimley, you're in your sands.
I've found it, but it's weird.
So let me just roll...
You can just also roll just to toughen his test.
Yeah.
It was going to be weird.
He only got one.
So he only takes one out.
So that's six, seven, minus one shock.
So I am down to four shock,
and I take how much damage with the 11?
Is my math bad?
Four.
Four.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm really quickly just going to...
Chunkets hurt really bad.
And as he hits you, he smashes you,
but the impact hurts you,
but it actually bends his weapon,
which now looks like it's not as effective.
And he just sort of looks up at you like...
Oh.
Oh.
And that's that go.
Reeb, would you like to go?
Yeah, I don't have a whole lot of options here.
Remember that this guy is also extremely lucky,
and we have an idea that something's making people lucky.
So we don't know if this guy has the item or not.
That's why I'm not going to...
I'd like to avoid engaging him,
but, you know, that's Chunkus's...
That's Chunkus's...
Bag at that point.
I would like Chunkus's in danger.
Reeb, from where you are, though,
you do see, like, Chunkus take, like, a solid hit
and, like, definitely take some damage from that.
Like, he was smashed across sort of his chest
and then even, like, a bit of his lower jaw.
You maybe see a tooth come out, some blood coming down.
Uh...
I'm not sure what you're trying to make me feel here.
Chunkus is ingratiating.
He's ingratiating himself to you all,
not quite so much to me yet.
It's just, like, slow...
For good reason.
Like, it's just slow motion, just, like, just...
It's like, I love you.
Reeb, think about all of the good times you've had with Chunkus.
I've been here for one hour!
And Pi thinks about all the good times he's had with Chunkus.
You're getting punched in the vents.
It's just flashbacks.
It's just flashbacks of...
Cut back to this.
Chunkus menacingly standing over Reeb.
I've been here for one hour!
Get off my back!
The funniest part to me is, like, it's a series of flashbacks,
but there's only two flashbacks,
because Pi's talked to Chunkus once.
It's like when you get that Facebook recap thing,
and it's like, here's a recap of all your memories of the year,
and it's, like, two pictures,
so it just repeats them repeatedly with different...
Yeah, it's exactly that.
All right, Reeb, what are you doing?
Well, since y'all are gonna force me down this path,
I'm gonna come over here,
and I'm going,
to...
Is this thing hostile to me?
No, it seems like all the servitors are no longer noticing you.
Fine, I'm going over here.
Okay.
That leaves me...
How much more movement can I do?
Not a whole lot.
I'll tell you what,
I'm just gonna double move.
Okay.
I don't have a whole lot of good options available.
I don't have a whole lot of good options available.
And...
And...
Yeah, I'm trying to think of...
I'm trying to find where my movement is.
I've lost it.
Where is movement?
Where's speed?
Speed is six.
Oh, god, I have speed six.
So you can move up to 12 if you double.
I move to here,
and then I will climb on top of the thing,
which I have to move to.
Yes, absolutely.
You come up behind Chunkus.
Yeah, I'm prepared.
I'm kind of just down here right now.
Oh, he's slithering.
He's sneaking in.
There you go.
Okay.
These two come up.
These two prisoners rush up
and come towards you, Zedek,
brandishing weapons
and take a swing at you.
Okay.
If I can get the roll twice...
Let's go, Tony.
Let's go.
Come on.
Would they take a hit from the servitor?
Huh?
Would they take a hit from the servitor
from leaving threatened space?
You're absolutely right.
They would.
I see you gaming the system.
I see you, gamer.
I am the gamer.
And then I roll nothing,
so that's good.
Someone also...
I would also like to...
Would you like to...
What?
A lot of people taught.
Okay, first thing.
Sorry.
Someone donated for that to be a complication,
and now I'm the expert.
Of course.
Of course.
Okay.
So the servitor will complicate there.
That'll be a thing we'll get to.
And then they'll come up the side.
They'll attack you, Zedek.
They'll hit you.
Holy shit.
I'm sidestepping as a reflexive,
so my resilience goes up to 10.
And then they will do exactly nine points of damage,
so you will take nothing
as they just beat against you ineffectively
with their pipe.
Ha!
The servitor's swing causes it to step into the Roiling Conflagration
and go up and die.
Oh, well, whatever.
No, it's good.
Okay, so that's those guys.
Actually, I'm just going to have this guy join them.
Then I'm going to have these guys come down
as they charge beside their new lord and master, Captain Zedek.
For Zedek! For Zedekit!
And then...
Then they, like...
Then they attack.
Because, you know, reason.
You just say they skirmish and we move on.
Yeah.
Oh, no, no, I got you.
And they basically...
Between the two of them,
they're just going to overrun those three guys,
fill in spaces around Captain Zedek,
and it's going to be great.
He has a posse around him.
These servitors are all suppressing.
And then we come to the next combat round.
Who would like to go first?
Who would like to go first?
I feel like Chongus should go first.
Chongus is going to beat this man up.
All right.
Chongus is going to take it all down, y'all.
He's no longer going to be tall bitch.
Chongus is master of these prisons.
And soon Chongus will be master of the entire station.
And so he will murder fist him.
Okay.
And then get an eight and a crit.
Cool.
Throw me damage.
And the damage rune here,
I can't really excel anything.
So 13.
Very nice.
Very nice.
And then, because that was a critical hit,
roll me 2d6.
Nice.
Nice.
All right.
We're going to roll 2d6.
And I got a 55 or 10 total.
Yeah, 55.
Crimson Ash.
The attack sears into the foe,
fusing flesh into a charred rune.
I have no idea how you do this with your hands,
but this is the crit effect.
So like is Chongus going to hadouken,
or sorry,
shoryuken him,
so to speak.
Excuse me?
You're going to do like a dragon punch on him
where your hand gets some like flaming contrails on it.
Yeah.
Basically it's just,
you know,
just Pierron just fucking like,
Chongus smash!
And it's like,
just like a meteor coming in,
smashing him through the grates even.
And just like,
and just bringing him down.
You punch and punch.
You are punching so fast
that your fists are creating contrails of fire.
And just denting him through.
Mark me down a rune, please.
You son of a bitch.
Can I do a wrath point to say,
go fuck yourself?
Nope.
Fuck you.
Say for a moment there,
Chongus was the only answer to the question of
how hard do you have to punch a chicken to cook it?
He turns,
Jagadur turns and looks to you,
his face a bloody stump,
staring at you.
Is that the best you can do?
I'm very lucky.
Um,
that's your go,
Chongus.
I'll Chongus smash you for free action.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm going again.
I'm going to use my wrath point that Jack gave me to reroll.
Okay.
That's a seven.
Yeah, yeah.
Roll me damage.
Roll me damage.
You can boost it twice.
Oh, sorry.
No, once.
I'll do that and just roll around
because it's just faster for me.
You start smashing him.
One more.
13.
Oh, 13.
Yeah.
You once again,
just like start crushing him
and crushing him in his face.
You're pushing him back,
smashing him.
Fists are still on fire.
You're shouting as you do this.
No,
just die.
Mark me down a rune point.
So here's where some complications happen, Thurston.
Oh, good.
Two people have donated for a Game Master complication so far.
Okay, good.
That should technically overwrite your bullshit.
Here's what I'll say.
I assume that at this point,
Chongus is continuing to just like,
like smash down.
And so the first complication is going to,
to take down one of my rune points.
Mark me down a rune point.
As this ballad dance of Chongus punch smashing Tegadur back continues.
And after several like meters of push punching,
Tegadur looks up.
His face is like broken.
There's bone coming out.
He's leaking blood everywhere.
And he looks and he's got kind of like one eye barely open.
He's like,
is that all you've got?
I want to punch like with that last strike I'm doing.
Yeah.
For his,
if I could propose a complication,
I like sideswipe him so hard.
He launches into the remaining fire.
Absolutely.
Please mark me down my last rune point as well.
Cause that will,
that will remove Tegadur's special ability to attack.
His special ability to stay alive.
As you punch him and he goes flying.
No!
Landing his arms spread wide,
like some kind of angelic figure until he's completely caught in the,
the immolating flames at the center of the room caused by high brain.
And then shortly thereafter,
the flames are doused by the,
by the servitor who finishes its brain,
its hose brain.
And there is an immense cheer.
That is let out as all of the,
the Zetakit conscript prisoners turn and see the former head bitch of the prison.
I'm the top bitch now.
Rest in peace,
Heihachi.
All will bow before Chunkers.
And my turn's over,
I guess.
Yeah,
that's,
that's,
that's the end of combat.
And with that,
we're done.
And with that,
Chunkers will then begin to go,
Chunkers must secure the rest of prison.
Make sure there's no other people thinking they can be top bitch.
You all get,
you all get safe in cells.
And Chunkers will begin to just rush,
like throughout hallways,
just punching servitors as he goes.
At this point,
it doesn't look like there's anything opposing you.
It looks like the,
like the,
the,
the prison is,
is pretty,
pretty like,
So you're saying you want Chunkers to stay in the room?
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm saying that at this point,
you guys get to pick where you want to go.
Well,
we should probably either,
I'd like to go and get Lorne.
He definitely should go get Lorne.
We should either go get him from here,
or deal with,
daaarrggh,
before we get Lorne,
in the event that he has some kind of sway over,
the spooky spook lower cells.
I'm going to throw something out here.
Much as Chunkers has been a boon,
the truth is,
I feel like Lorne has the propensity
to destroy more people at once.
He definitely has the
capability, and he also
is a wizard, and that's scary.
That is true.
And we can't really go up
and get our weapons with just,
you know, trying, oh yeah, we're gonna
just push through the Arbides.
I wanna say we go down and try and free
Lorne with what equipment we have.
I am
going to actually ask you real quick,
DM.
I have two burning questions.
The first one is,
would I have
any kind of idea of what might be
protecting Lorne, given my dalliances
in the command
of the Lower Floor?
No, no idea. The only one
who would know anything about that
area is with you,
and that would be Chonkis.
Chonkis, okay.
Is there anything left
of that
poor, unlucky
fellow?
As you examine the
tired remains of Tagador,
you find nothing. He was immolated
whole. The only
thing that remains is the charred
bits of the pipe
he held.
Who was that
guy again?
Peter.
Did you say Peter?
Peter.
Don't tell Harry.
Well, it's safe to say
he won't be joining us for the rest of his
life, so let's
move on and find our missing
fourth. Yes, I agree.
I have a bone for you,
Captain Zadig,
and I'm going to give him a
lasgun. Oh, thank
you very much. I can do a lot more than
inspire people with this.
Yes, I consider- Where are we going,
Captain? All of the new
recruits are sort of standing there as
you're getting the lasgun.
We have to go free
an old friend of ours. You're coming
along?
Where is he?
The bottom of the prison, in the nightmare
zone, as I'm being told. You don't want
to go down there.
Chomkus, we have to go down there.
We literally cannot leave without him.
There's been a
ancient
stories have been told about that
place.
After we get him back, we'll blow it up.
There's a demon who lives down there.
No one survives
coming back from that place.
But, Chomkus, you-
Zadig has a moment where he just kind of stops
thinking something stupid he was inevitably going
to say. Chomkus,
what if that demon gets out and
claims itself as being the top bitch of the
prison?
I'm okay with that, as long as I don't have
to fight it.
Well,
Chomkus, I suppose, uh, I suppose
we can take care of it for- No, you- you
don't have to come with us. No, what am I saying?
Chomkus, you have to help us.
Only because you're friends.
Oh, Chomkus will help you get down there,
but Chomkus will not go
further after a point.
At this point,
you start making your way
towards the cell,
Chomkus leading the way.
As you carry on down the darkened
passages, you see
charred bodies and skeletal
remains and
puncture marks on the side of the
wall that look as though they're
great claw marks that
have somehow burned into
the steel here.
No bodies
evolved here.
He killed everybody, but they somehow
got him in the room.
He's a legend amongst the prison.
Everyone knows of him, but no one
knows to speak of him.
That's pretty
funny. What happens if we
open the door?
You'll die.
Good boy, friend.
Chomkus fucking fails.
Goodbye.
Chomkus runs off, and then there's
just some of the
prisoners who stand with Zedek
remaining, and they're just like,
okay, is that
console there?
You gotta press it to open it.
I turn to one of the
prisoners, and you're
sure he's telling the truth when he says
if we open that door, we'll die.
Yes.
I put my... Zedek puts his hand
on that prisoner's shoulder.
My friend,
my loyal devotee,
that is a risk I am willing to take,
and Zedek will move to start working
on the console.
Just be careful.
It was a demon that was imprisoned here.
But, but,
well, they say that
even demons can
be changed.
And, uh, Zedek, you can, you can...
You can press the button to, to open
the door.
And, as you do so,
there is a pneumatic
hiss as various
unlocking seals
begin to move. Uh, what are...
Pybrain and Reeb, what are you
doing as this door begins to open?
Uh, I'm checking
the ammunition on the, the radium pistol
because that's all I got.
Um, I'm, uh, probably at some point
during all this, uh, I'm going
to request my radium pistol back,
and I'm going to give Reeb my shotgun.
That feels like
a downgrade.
I do not know.
Tonk is still, like, behind, like, a door
for you, like, looking over. Just kind of, like,
so kind of hidden, but he's like,
he's like, he's here for his friends, but he
doesn't want to abandon just yet, but...
And then the door opens.
Ka-choo!
Remember, friends?
A silhouette of
darkness. Prison changes
a man. My light.
It's him! And he just
runs. Just bolts
out of there, finally down the hall
where your pitter-patter's...
And as Chunkus leaves,
the light, the lumens
in the room activate.
Yeah, I knew it.
We'll, uh, we'll, we'll, we'll, uh,
Zoran, describe
who is in front of
the party. As the door
opens up, you see Lorne,
basically power-barring up any
bars that he had. Just, shink!
Urgh! Shink! Urgh!
And he seems overly buff for some
reason, and it's just, and he
just drops down with a heavy thud,
turns over, and go,
Hey, folks, how's it going?
Haven't seen you in a while.
Prison for, like, three hours!
How did you get those gains?
It's only been three hours?
I look at my non-existent watch.
Uh,
can I roll a Medicaid and determine,
what kind of hyperbolic time-chamber
bullshit Lorne has been up to?
Uh, absolutely.
Okay, uh,
so that's a Medicaid?
Yep.
I get a ten and a complication.
Um, perfect.
I'm flexing the entire time.
Yeah.
You're the one tip that doctors don't want people
to know about.
Because I'm nothing but
psychic mastery, Traxetic.
I'm not at some time, and I just
flex again, flex some more.
Lorne, as you're, like, enduring these
flexings and studying, what you're
seeing here is
that, like, this
is definitely natural physique, but
one thing that's different as you're doing, like,
your examination is, underneath
Lorne's immense beard is a
metal collar
that is lined with
tiny sigils.
How's the collar?
It looks like
it's got a small
joiner at the front that is
in a casing,
and it looks very, very
complicated, but you can tell that
it's just, it's
emitting some kind of power.
You can tell there's a small little
light on it that blinks as well.
Can I
do any sort of check to undo that?
Uh, you can give me a
tech check to try to identify
it and whatnot.
Um...
Hey, uh, Pi, what's your tech?
Um, probably higher than yours.
Can you say it anyway?
And then there's a loud snap as you're looking
at this, and your hand comes out.
I'd like to thank, uh, Patron Dad for this, for the complication.
As there's a mousetrap
in Lorne's beard that has, like,
snapped on one of his fingers.
Oh, sorry, that's to prevent the rodents
from getting my lunch in my beard.
I have to, you know, save what food I get down here.
I take the rat trap
off my finger and then flex it to make sure
it's not...
broken before I go investigating the collar
again. It hurts a bit.
Um, yeah,
you can give me a tech check on the collar.
Okay, I was asking, Pi,
could you tell me your f***ing tech?
I told you, I have, uh, well,
out of characters, I have...
In character, I have precisely
nine points of intelligence
that I use to roll
96 that determine the quality
of my tech. So is your tech
a nine or what? Yeah, it's nine.
Thank you.
Thank you, Tech Knight.
It says in character, Pi's not gonna say,
well, I have exactly eight wounds and five shots.
I'm not asking Pi in character, I'm asking
Speaker D out of character.
I thought your order was nine.
Roll attack check!
I would do it.
I was trying to make that in character.
You made that so much harder than it needed to be.
I know. Welcome to Warhams.
No, this is...
Dude, I am at my wits' end right now
with a lot of things. I don't need you making it worse.
We got six successes.
Alright, so for the six,
um, you can tell
that this is a psychic
dampening collar
that cannot be manually
removed lest it blow up
the head of the wearer.
There's some kind of control, uh,
station, which you would know
would be on the upper level.
I roll to remove it.
Ah, hold up, hold up, hold up.
This is, uh...
If you try any of that stuff,
I'll die immediately.
Oh, my God. Captain Z,
a bomb!
No.
No, no, no!
Reba's weighing the options in his head.
Alright, fine.
Let's see if we can't find our way back to the upper levels.
That way we can at least get reacquainted
with our gear.
Lauren, can you do, um...
You can punch very well, yes?
Oh, yeah, I can obliterate people.
Let's get, let's get you a pipe.
Oh, I am...
Can you grab a pipe off the wall for the man?
Okay, I'm going to walk.
The demon needs it. He could have my pipe.
One of the, the squad
reverently holds out a pipe.
Pipe attack.
Take it, demon.
Sorry, I'm...
fixing things. Alright.
I take the pipe.
Take it.
I, I, I took the pipe.
Yep.
Also, I'm sorry.
Uh, apparently my character sheet for him is...
Okay, I fixed it.
It was broken.
I'm like, why is it not working?
Okay, I take the pipe.
I got you.
Yeah, cool.
Yeah, you've got it.
Um, alright.
So, uh, where would you all like to go now?
I suppose there's only one thing to do.
I'm going to hold out my arm to arm wrestle Lauren.
I'm going to hold out my arm to arm wrestle Lauren.
Pfft.
Alright, well, I'm going to do the first thing.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
It's finally taken until you're not going to survive this encounter.
I do not believe that is true, actually.
Owned.
We're going to spend so many fucking wrath points.
Okay.
Let's start.
You roll first.
Alright, let's go.
Great.
We'll spend a wrath on that.
Yeah, but, but I was saying...
Yeah, but I was saying then, that's what I was saying.
You roll first.
You roll first.
You roll first.
Okay.
Yeah.
You roll first.
Yeah.
You roll first.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You roll first.
You roll first.
You roll first.
that's a little out of character yeah damn that is that sucks okay damn
oh i i feel like my thing's wrong okay whatever all right rerolling with the wrath
i spent all glory
i spent all the glory all right how many are you getting roll
no i'll take corruption if i need to you got four additional dm let me roll all the glory
too bad you were greedy you thought this session is off the rails lord you're in control he gave
you the smart pipe come on and as you as as like as lauren's eyes crackle with with suppressing
you
managed to smash down highbrain's arm just as as several more prisoners turn the corner
and they're like the demon the demon
captain captain zedek yes um they've cut us off
what do you mean they cut us off the elevators they're all turned off
oh i don't think that'll be
we'll need to go
we'll need to go
we'll need to we've got the prison though it's ours now captain zedek
choke choker said we should talk to you about it
prison is ours though we have to get a way out uh captain zedek will turn to brain
brain how much do you know about fixing elevators i know more than you that is statistically likely
i will go to this elevator and i will make it
regret ever not being
an up
elevator.
Try that again.
You don't understand.
The elevators are at the upper level.
We can't call them down here.
He can call them down.
Is there an emergency access?
The only thing we could do
is try to maybe negotiate
with the upper levels.
Do we have...
Wait, hang on.
This is a gas mining station, yeah?
Yeah.
We've already proven that we can make some stuff
blow up.
Can we...
Can we threaten to
cause catastrophic
damage by blowing up
the station?
That seems like a Warhams tactic.
Can we feasibly
reroute some stuff down here?
Because this is where all the stuff is stored.
Essentially, yes.
Theoretically speaking, could we either move
items to structural points around the
lower sector here, which of course would
probably kill us if they call our bluff,
but also
could we maybe set them up like
around the elevator and just blow the doors
open and try to repel our way up?
Absolutely could.
I mean, you could at least
do the blow up part. I don't know if
propelling yourself upwards
is going to work, but you
certainly have a we can take out the
whole station sort of
bargaining chip. Wait.
I had a better idea than just blowing everything up.
Do we know?
Do we know where the gravity control is?
Like, the localized gravity?
Um,
I'd assume that, like, key systems are
on the upper level.
Hmm.
Okay, we'll just threaten to blow everything up. That sounds fine.
I, uh,
we may not need to do this.
What do you mean?
Elevators operate via an arcane
system of hyper-advanced
pulleys and levers.
If we are able to
climb up the elevator shaft,
we might still be able to send
a small strike team of people that
actually fucking matter to go deal with
the problem.
The problem is getting up there is the problem.
That elevator is also 40k distance long.
Oh, that is true.
Well, well, I have a suggestion.
How coincidental.
What resources have you been able to gather
since you've been, you know, travavanting around the prison?
I think I own everything?
I don't know anymore.
But if you own everything, can you get back to a point,
maybe, I don't know,
call someone who's up there,
figure life out?
You gotta have contact somewhere.
We have one person, but I don't know if she's
in a position to really support us at this juncture.
Well, it's better to try
than standing around here.
Come on, Brain, lead the way.
Yes, okay, we will go to the Panopticon!
Uh, well, uh,
you need a communication unit?
Yes. Yep.
Uh, oh, the only
vox that's, uh, hard-lined up
to the, to the surface is in the chapel.
You don't have to go there.
The chapel?
Yeah.
Why the fuck do you have a chapel here?
To pray. We aren't, we aren't heretics.
Oh, well, that's a good point.
All right, off I go.
Uh, yeah,
so, so, um,
Zedek, your new squad of prisoners
directs you towards
the chapel.
Uh, the chapel is built into
sort of recess in a similar way that the mess hall
is, though...
Pie, your
suspects
is, is very,
very confused, because
when you look at the interior
of the chapel,
it's far larger than
it should be, based on the schematics
you've seen. In fact, it looks
ostentatious. Like, suddenly you're walking
down these grimy,
dark corridors and cells, and
then you look through a room that is
replete with gold and
luscious crimson fabrics.
That is
immense.
This is a
strange place.
Why would you spend so
much money on fabric?
And there, there is a
man who is sort of standing near
an unoccupied throne at the end of
the room, clearly cleaning things up.
You can tell that none of the
prisoners have come in here, despite the
chaos around the station
and even some of the simmering fights.
You can hear Chonkas shouting in the back
round as he's pummeling some prisoners.
But nothing
has touched this area.
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Every time we've gone into a chapel before,
it's been...
Well, it's been...
There's usually been some weirdo
foot freak in there.
Come on, let's hurry up inside. I need to
make my phone call.
Yes, yes, come on. We don't have
a whole lot of time for this. I'm tired of
a phone call. Lorna's not able to make
a phone call.
We need psychic mastery to determine
if we are safe or not.
That is okay. We will utilize the
more powerful martial mastery!
And so you walk
in.
And as you do, this individual
walks towards you, and
his arms sort of come out, and you can
see he's in very traditional
Adeptus Ministorum robes, and his
arms are wide, and he
has this big smile
on his face, and he looks at you, and he's
like...
Hello there! I'm Preacher
Hadrius of Shady
Rock.
And let's take our break
here.
Alright folks, we'll be right
back.
I'm telling you, it would be much more
sensible if we just...
At this point, just make our own service provider.
Like, we could do it. We have...
It could only cost like, what,
maybe a hundred bucks?
Do you think the patrons would be okay with that
kind of change? Like, putting their money towards
starting our own ISB? Patreon
is for all kinds of purposes. I think
you could get away, legitimately, with like,
hey, here's the Patreon
goal. We want to start our own internet service
provider, so we can just stick it to them, you know?
Yeah, find those guys. But I mean, how are we gonna
incentivize it? Do, like, do their donations
go towards making adware that we put on
the ISB? Every complication goes as fiber speeds.
To me, it would be the same. Yeah, every
complication that we
get adds point...
one, uh, megabyte
to the download speed.
I mean, the big, the big problem with this
though, is that with the state of
kind of, like, monopolies, you kind of have to only
open, like, we can use the loophole as you suggested
to only have our service, uh,
be provided to nations that no longer exist.
Yeah. I think we can get a pretty
needy deal if we provide service
to the, uh, heiress of the Empire.
I'm, I'm just saying
warband could definitely
be something. That's true. And
the DNS entries could all be on the ISB.
That's actually a pretty good name.
Burn ISB? I'm not gonna lie.
Warband.
And, you know, you don't see a lot of Comcast
along the Tigris, so...
Yeah. Yeah, but the Euphrates gets
in the way. Naturally.
Well, let's, let's shelve this and go back to
Yeah, we're in a church for some reason.
We're in the chunch.
Chunch! Welcome to the
chunch!
Uh, alright.
So, yeah.
You found your way walking into an impossibly
sized, um,
chapel inside
the, the lower level of the Mortis
Carcerum, hoping to get the one
functioning Vox unit to communicate
with the upper level. And then
you were approached by a smiling man
with a bionic eye whose arms are
sort of wide out, and
he smiles and greets
you.
Preacher Hadrian. Who do you want with me?
Did you say that again? I'm, I'm
here to greet you! Welcome to the
chapel. Aren't times great? That's unfortunate.
No.
Times are not great. They're not great.
We've, we've done this song and dance repeatedly.
Can we please move on to the part where you get
in our way and we try to push past you? Wait.
What? What?
I, you've done
this song and dance before.
I, I am confused.
Yeah, but we...
Wait.
Lauren,
we've met
several people like this in Shady Rock.
Yeah, but...
Do you remember that? How they were
obtrusive and frustrating? I remember,
but we're in a prison
currently.
Well, to fuck it, we probably left this
person here. And, uh, so
when did you get transferred to the prison?
Well, it was fairly
recently. I moved
here from the world of Shady
Rock, you see.
I was, I was
told that,
I, it was, it was
quite strange. You see,
I, I believe I was
told that my content was needed
elsewhere.
Was it now?
By whom?
I don't, I don't quite know.
Um, someone, someone who, who was
very much screaming
a lot.
Someone who was screaming a lot told you to come here.
Well,
I forget the particulars of it.
It's kind of foggy
in my head. I, I, I apologize.
But I, I do know that I was
told that I would need to move in
here, because the content
of this place was meant to
be experienced, but wasn't properly
experienced, so it was moved here.
If I could be dead,
I'd stay in here.
Who?
What content? What content are you talking
about? You're speaking in rhyme and riddle.
Speak plainly, damn it.
I, I, I'm not, I'm not
quite sure. Um,
simply that
the, the, the head priest
who, who requested my movement,
very strange fellow,
told, told me to move here
to, to ensure that others could,
could bear witness
to the glory of the Church of
the Divine God Emperor.
Reem's kind of just gonna wave
his hand at this point.
Do you have a
comm device in here?
Well, we, we certainly do
have, have a comm device in here, absolutely.
Point me where it is.
Of course, of course, I'll have to
get it out under some of the things
we have here. Okay, gif, gif me
a moment. As I said, my name's
Preacher Hadrius. Who are all of you
children of the Emperor?
I'm Lorne. Captain Zedek,
Highbrain, Lorne, Reem,
you blight remain silent.
Let's go find that fox unit.
He's, he's still, like, looking through some stuff,
pulling out objects, pulls out
So, um,
so how was your time at Shadyrock
then? I'm quite curious. We, we, we
solved the issues you had down there.
Oh, did
you find that, that, that problem
in B4R's basement? Oh,
he was talking about it quite a bit, that
one.
No, you see, he now works for
us now. He abandoned your players.
But I'm talking about
the tomb.
Do you remember a tomb?
The tomb, um.
Someone introduced you
a tomb. Looks at you, Lorne, and
the tomb, the tomb.
Where the big
fish was protecting.
That
place at the bottom of the crater
where they went in and everything
had changed.
Yeah. Oh, look
at this! This is, uh, a very fine,
uh, rosary.
Uh, Zedek, you try talking to her.
Step back for a moment.
Hold up.
Just wait a minute.
Something isn't right.
You know what happened.
What do you mean everything changed
the moment they went into that grave? You clearly
know. Don't play dumb
because I know you're not dumb enough to ignore
what you just said. Um,
well, um,
what kind of social skill do you want to use here,
Zedek? I want to use intimidation.
Yeah!
Yeah, I like intimidation. I'm gonna be
scary. I'm a big boy. I can
I can defend them all
on my own. I can be scary.
It's gonna be
a seven and a glory.
Unfortunately,
someone hates you, Captain Zedek.
Yes.
A lot of people hate Zedek.
Dunked on.
Have you met the members of his ship?
No.
I mean, a lot of people
hate him.
All of that book sell.
Dang.
Okay.
He pauses
and looks at you
and
If you're gonna speak quietly,
go closer to your mic because it's super loud.
I, I,
he's just looking at you, Zedek. I,
just remember
the bottom of the crater.
We found something
and then, then I was a
then I was a preacher
and then
after I was a preacher, I
I, and it looks like he's about
to make this, this big revelation
to you and he's sort of, his eyes
are becoming a little less cloudy
and he looks up and pauses
and sort of tilts his head
to the side.
Is there a rip in the bottom of your
pants?
Ah, Captain Zedek
lunges towards him and punches him in the face.
Um, yeah, absolutely.
And as you do the, like,
flying punch attack, Zedek,
I won't even make you roll to hit this
poor preacher, uh, your three companions
behind see your cape below
and witness the, the tear
in the back of your pantaloons as you
land your blow.
If that were me, I would be very
embarrassed.
Ow!
How dare you!
I, no, shut up!
I'm gonna read you your rights! I'm gonna punch him
with my right fist.
And your lefts!
And punch him with my left.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
just, just like, he's like landing
these haymakers on him, just
.
Uh, oh.
Ow, I, I'm sorry!
I'm...
I'm sorry.
I drag him closer to me. This is a place of peace.
Don't ever bring up my fashion
again.
All right, of course.
Good.
Now, I
set him down gently.
Kinda dust off the blood and detritus
cause he somehow is dusty. I don't,
I don't know.
Now do you remember what you were
about to say?
Um,
uh, the, the, the Vox
unit, it's, it's, it's, it's here
if you need it. It has a direct
link to the upper levels.
Thank you.
No problem.
Captain Xenical just kinda collapsed onto his
back.
...what you were about to say.
I'm going to approach him
now. Yeah, absolutely.
Hello!
The brain
is a dawdle of meat.
Your memories
may be altered by
psychic influence or other
such things,
but in the end it is
the motive force that drives
your mind.
Electrical signals
store information flowing
from one cell to
another in your mass
of weakness.
Your memories
may be foggy,
but they can be
summoned with
or without the rest
of you.
Recall again
what was within
the crater,
victim of shady
rock.
What kind of social skill do you want to give me?
I'm going to be using
some, uh, uh, uh, uh, Medicaid
on this. No, I'm going to be using, uh,
Psychic Mastery. Psychic Mastery!
Intimidation.
I'll be dropping three Glory Binds. It's a good skill.
Yeah, it is. Solves all your problems.
It is, yeah. It's the one
social skill Pi's good at.
We're going, and it's six.
Well, uh,
I...
I...
I was a priest at Shady Rock,
and then I was told I had to move here.
Oh, not
this again.
Chosen the way
of pain.
...
Pain? Oh, no.
We don't have pain here anymore.
Everyone's happy. Times
are great. You should see the people at the
retirement home.
Uh, can I push
past this gibbering lunatic
and just go look for the comms unit?
He's already pulled it out. It's behind him.
Okay, can I get it from him?
Uh, yeah, absolutely.
You kind of, like, brush past Pi
and him, and you pick up the comm unit,
and it sort of turns as you do so.
Oh, yes, that's
the comm unit. We keep it to maintain
communication with the upper levels.
So you do.
Gentlemen, uh,
tell you what.
You remain here.
Okay. And just talk about,
talk about how great times are
to them. I'm going to be right
back with this, and I'm going to take the telephone
over to the corner of the room. I wanna listen to him.
I like it, like, right up to Rabe's head. I wanna listen to him.
Yes, come along, Loren.
I'm going to the corner of the room to sit down
with this old-timey phone-in
hook-wrapper. Wait, wait, Rabe! Rabe!
You're on distraction duty, Pi!
Good luck! No! No!
Wait, I need- be careful!
I'm going to be- Do all
of you just leave Preacher Hadrius and go
follow Rabe? Absolutely not. I will,
uh, I want to chase
after Rabe and warn him, but I have a
duty to rip this man apart if he tries
shenanigans.
Okay, uh, and Captain Zedek,
are you, uh...
Are you- I'm
torn more than my pants already are.
Should I stay behind and help
him interrogate, or should I try my diplomacy
less physically? It's up to you, man. You can do whatever.
It's up to you, your choice. Pi, it's a- you
gotta- can you handle a priest?
Hm. Yes, I
can handle a priest.
Though, Zedek, I must ask you something.
Yes, Pi?
You must buy new
pants, perhaps a bigger
size to accommodate your
large rear.
Perez! If it-
if it weren't for the fact I'd probably break
my hands on your metal head,
I would hit you so
hard right now. What's your favorite
episode of Warhams, Jeremy? The one
where they talked about Zedek's asshole
the whole time.
The whole fuckin' time!
I love hearing about Captain Zedek's fat
fuckin' ass! I just wanna
hear- Ah! Thick ass!
I just wanna hear the cheeks
collapse! HELLO!
Uh,
just so we can hit the logical conclusion
of this, please look in the general chat. My partner's gonna kill me!
Please look in the general chat.
I'll have you know- I'll have you know, chat,
is that when I previewed that- It's that picture.
When I previewed that
Charlie Brown, uh,
picture that we had on our break,
when I sent it to Zoran, I'm like,
oh, my partner did some art, and he's like,
oh no. And then of
course he saw it and was like, oh, I actually like this!
And then my partner's like,
you know, now forever, Zoran,
Zoran's gonna think that I'm just
right, like, drawing dirty artwork
of the characters.
This is where we are now.
I'm used to it.
They don't call him Zed Thick for nothin'.
Don't call him that, but now they may.
Please don't actually call him that, I can't stop it
now! I can't stop it!
Um, goddammit. Um,
Captain Zedek,
are you walking to join the
Vox call? Yes, now Zedek is pissed
at Pius, he was going to join on the Vox call.
Hahahaha!
Okay, perfect. Um,
alright, so the three of you
go by the Vox unit, which is set up.
Reeb, you've got it, like, ready to go.
It looks like it has
like, a hardline connection up
to the upper level. It looks like it just
sends a signal there.
Okay.
So I guess I'm just gonna wait for someone to pick
up.
It does like the, you know, the old
school 56k dial-up
sound as it's establishing the connection.
I like the idea of
Reeb just sitting on the floor, cross-legged,
with like, an old-timey telephone
in his hand, while Lorne is hovering
over his shoulder like some kind of
some kind of Goliath.
Kind of like, I want sausage
on my pizza!
Come on!
Kind of
like that.
Pretty much, yeah.
Hello, this is the upper
level Lex. This is Officer
Mcglaw-Doter speaking.
Mcglaw-Doter?
This is Reeb Van Horn.
To the fridge.
Lorne, we'll talk about your pizza in a minute.
No, no, the fridge is running.
I'll tell you in a minute.
Fine.
Mcglaw-Doter?
Do you hear me?
Yes, yes. Are
you in control of the insurrection?
We have it in
hand for the moment.
I see.
What are your demands?
A large sausage
pizza with
pepperoni!
I put my hand on Lorne's face.
One, send
the elevator down.
I can't quite send the elevator down
until we've established
what your demands are
and what we will be given in return.
This is a negotiation!
At which point there's like text that appears
on the screen that's, you know,
attorney-like, you know,
negotiation.
Mcglaw-Doter, I must
question something from you.
Have you forgotten the
exchange you and I have had?
I am
aware, but we can't
simply send the elevators
down and risk the
troops up here being overwhelmed.
There's chaos on the upper level as well.
The Supreme Judge has
barricaded himself into his office.
Mcglaw-Doter, I'm going to be
completely honest with you.
While I find your etiquette very refreshing,
I do need to point out that
a few raving
prisoners massacring your team is likely
going to be the best thing to happen if you
do not acquiesce. I mean, I'm gonna do an
intimidate. Yeah, please do.
I will take
the three remaining, uh,
those are glories, right? Yeah, yeah.
Glory, yeah.
All three.
Goodbye, glory. Okay, that's a two.
I'm going to roll three more.
3d6.
More glories.
Glories. That gives me five.
Five, yeah.
Uh, she pauses and says,
Alright, let's get down to
business. We'll get the elevators going
down in...
Oh, they're on their way.
That is the first.
Yes, that is not the only thing.
Why does
it not have to be...
It does not need to be the only thing.
Alright.
Well, that's begun.
Don't worry, don't worry. The elevators are on their way.
Yes, yes, good.
I think she's made of this.
Ma'am, could you tell us where our
equipment is stored?
Yes, it's up here
in the
arbitrator prep hall.
Very
good. I have ensured no one else
has opened the cases that contain your
belongings. Along with that,
in the prep hall is a
command code to override
the necklace on
your psyker.
Though, he'll need to be in proximity.
He'll need to be in the room for this device to
operate correctly.
Very good.
Now, as a final
stipulation, I
believe it would be very good to link up with you.
Do you have anyone who is willing to listen
to you, or has everyone up there
fallen to the jurisdiction of the High
Judge?
Well, you see,
something
strange has happened
recently, and as she says that,
we cut back to
Pye Brain and
the preacher, Preacher
Hadrius.
So,
hello.
Isn't this Chapel Grand?
Tell me more funny
things, Paper Man.
What do you
wish to know?
I want to know why you were
so weak to be broken
so thoroughly.
No one is weak
if they have faith in the Emperor.
But you do not.
Of course I do.
You do not.
I serve him. I serve the Emperor.
I serve the Om... I serve the Emperor.
You prove the Omnissiah?
I...
I think I might have
once. But I serve the Emperor
now.
What?
You're telling
me that you once.
You're Lemurian.
Times are great.
And then we cut back to the phone call.
I still want
a number two
with a large Saudi pop.
Write that down, Reeve. Come on.
I'm getting to that. Hold on.
Hurry up. I'm hungry.
As I was saying,
several of the
station's security
are barricaded in
with the Supreme Judge.
He was in the command
station
maybe an hour or two ago,
received a report, and then immediately
left. He took several of the most
senior arbitrator combat specialists
he had, and then retreated to his
quarters.
Terrific. So there are
none that are under your control, though.
I have several. They aren't the best
on the station, but I have
loyal true servants of the
Imperium and the Emperor of Man.
And if you are, as you have
proven to me, a member
of a certain organization,
then you have my full
support.
Yes. My advice is because we won't
know them from the other ones.
We know you, not so
much them. Suggestion would be
to have them hide somewhere
while we make our
way to you so we may retrieve our
goods. If it's
possible, what I would like to do is to
is to...
What? What?
Apologies, apologies. Some reports
coming in.
I'd like to take them and meet
with you at the top of the elevator.
We can get you off this station and
onto your ship.
We would rather have the situation
resolved before too much
undue damage gets done.
I'm simply afraid
if you don't get off this station soon
things could escalate
if the Supreme Judge acts
unwisely. Let's not get greedy.
Let's get out of here first.
Very well, then.
And then, just
so we're clear,
on the elevator,
I need you to put a
large bread disk...
And as you start listing off the
bread disk, we cut back to
Piebrain's realization.
So I called this guy out.
What's his reaction?
Lemuria.
That sounds
like a great place.
That sounds like a place
probably with a lot of water.
It has vast oceans.
You know,
isn't that funny?
Shady Rock had
vast oceans, too.
Maybe it's because
we all were so used to them.
What else
do you remember?
What kind of
social skill are you going to use now to start
pumping information out of this guy?
Also, as, uh,
as you figured that out, just for people,
for donation, for some reason, I keep getting, like, late.
People donate, and I go,
okay, let's see what they got. And it takes 500 years
for it to show up. So if you don't see your thing, pop up immediately.
Remember, I do this mainly.
Just give me a bit. But yeah,
Bran, what do you use to, uh,
convince the person to spill all their secrets?
Yes.
I'm going
to look at this person.
Yes.
And at first, I hated him.
And I still do.
It's good.
But something...
I...
This person was put here for a reason.
This isn't an accident.
This isn't de fucker...
At first, he assumed everything was de fuckerby's
fault. Now Pi is
beginning to figure out that there might
actually be some kind of
existential threat
on the horizon.
And this guy, if this guy
was Lemurian,
and he's like
this now,
the party might not make it
out of this adventure, not winding up
the same way. So
rather than intimidate this guy,
I'm gonna use my full
glory pool
on leadership.
Yeah. Yeah, do it.
Is anyone else good with that? Take it.
As I say, as a fucker who stole it for strength
checks. Yeah, that's it. For sure.
I appreciate that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't get too greedy here.
Don't be an asshole.
I mean, you know, I did only, you know,
I did only spend all my strength experience
on getting strength. I'm good with it.
Do it up.
Alright.
You are Lemurian.
You are a scion
of one of the grandest
of the Omnissiah's Farge worlds.
A world is an untamable
morass of cold
water, and we salvage
it. We are the masters
of its depths. We are unpissable.
And you
are not this.
And I am going
to roll leadership now.
And as you roll, that is an
automatic complication, unfortunately, because someone
made it happen. So everyone knows,
like, I'm waiting for my thing to come
in to see what people did it for, and
it's like, you have to understand
the feed's not coming in
fast enough, so I'm trying to catch up with you
as well.
I am going to spend a wrath, my last
wrath, to try to get as many
successes out of this as possible.
Absolutely.
Okay, so six, okay.
Yeah, six successes in total.
Okay, okay. I know, just
six. It's not like that's a good roll.
Hey, ma'am. I don't know.
I am going to
indicate what the complication is, which I would
like to thank user Chess217
for this complication,
which is entitled, Forgot to
Apply Holy Lube.
Jesus Christ.
As you are
making this
emphatic
command, you
start to feel whatever it is
you're talking about is seizing
up some of your
various
motorized systems, like
your mechanical arms and such seem to be
seizing, as though talking
about this
is actually causing your
body to seize up. There's something
in the air here, something about
what's going on that is
causing your body to
really just, like,
grind.
And you look
into the eyes of this preacher
and tilts his head.
Lemuria.
Yeah.
I missed it.
Shady
Rock was dead.
Nothing there.
Nothing.
Just
emptiness.
And then after we found it,
that's,
that's when we got an ocean.
That's,
that's
when we, and as he's
saying this, you're just feeling
your internals seize
up. You almost
feel like this is erosion
of your internals, like you need
the lubricants on them because
like your joints
and such are being affected by
the sea, the sea
salty air of Lemuria.
No.
That's fine.
I'll lubricate my internals
myself. I'm going to take
my greatsword and I am going
to thrust it through my chest so that
the excess oil that is released
will halt this degradation.
I can't help but notice
your propensity for trying to kill yourself
to advance plot points is
is really alarming.
Yeah, but it's work, it's working
though. That's the bullshit part.
Bro, Pies, ride or die
for his forge world, man.
Yeah, you got, you got, you get, you get that holy
unguent, uh, or sorry, holy
luberant, uh, going through,
going through your body as you do this. And like,
I assume you're, you're never,
you're never breaking eye
contact with Hadrius as he's kind of having
this, this lucid moment?
Absolutely not. Yeah,
and he's, he's like, his head is sort of tilting
towards you, and he's,
he's just, like, matching your eye,
like, staring at
you. I assume, like, the camera
is warping and turning, like,
tilting left, and it's like
Yeah, and, like, for
the briefest moment, Pie, as you're
matching and you're feeling, like, you know,
this, the, not, not pain
because you don't feel pain in the normal way, but
you feel this, like, damage on your systems
as you've self-impaled yourself
to try to stop this degradation.
Like, the, the area around
Hadrius' face is, like, the
background of this glittering golden
church seems to, like, fade
briefly, and you see the sort of
cold, metal exterior.
It's almost like that this room,
this immense chapel that you're
inside of is actually, like, some
kind of surface closet, but
the, the space and dimensions
of it don't make any sense from where
you are, but then, then it
kind of is, is snapping back to it,
and Hadrius' head is turning
even more, and he's just
like...
It, it, it,
it gave us an ocean.
It, it,
it, it said
you, you
skipped the content
and, and
you still had to
experience it.
And, and, and
we cut back to the phone call.
Now, Lauren's already passed for, he's, like,
running over, going, I smell psychic shit!
And I basically, like, come in,
I want to do an athletics check to punch
the psychic warp shit away.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Cool!
Cause that's the thing! I'm, like,
punching the air, like, no, no!
And I'm, like, just
punch around, I'm shaking pirate, stop stabbing
yourself!
And, like, as, as
you're, you're both, like, you, you manage to sort of
push Preacher, uh, Preacher
Hadrius down, and that, that sort of
locks out, or, sorry,
blocks out everything that was going on Pi.
You have this sharp return to reality.
The room is this beautiful gold,
and it's this immense chamber. Hadrius
is down on the ground, breathing heavily,
and turns, and he's, like, oh,
thanks, Trent. Oh, times are
great, aren't they? And he sort of gets
that, like, smile back on his face. I punch the priest.
Yeah, absolutely.
You fucking will allow this. I will hold you back.
It didn't work. I gotta set the right thing. Hold up.
Clubber. Okay,
here we go. I got
two, but still good enough. And you missed
You, you, you, well, no, you do hit him.
Um, you give him, like, a solid cuff,
but he just sort of is a bit, like,
dazed by it, smiling.
Um, as this is going
on, Reeb, you're still on the phone.
Um,
and you, you, you, you've
just, like, been in the process of listing
off the ridiculous, um,
bread cake device
that, uh, that Lorne has requested.
Uh, which I
assume the, the entire order has,
like, been the discussion point up
until now. And then, as Lorne, like,
charges off,
there's, there's this more, there's this background noise
from a lot of, uh, what?
Are, are you so, are you so,
prepare to, uh, uh, I'm,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but the elevators
are on the and the
vox cuts out.
Bloody hell. All right.
Looks like, uh, negotiations
have concluded
for the moment. Negotiations are rather
short. Well,
that's usually good. We don't want them to
take forever. And I suppose now
we must go over there and save her ass, or
something. All right, well,
gentlemen, let's gather up. We have
work to do. Damn negotiations
and damn the woman.
I do not care. There
is something afoot here. We are,
we are being glamoured. This
man was once a member
of the forge world of Lemuria,
and that, that, we have
stumbled upon something bigger than our
individual escape from a
piteous prison. This person
was put here on our path for
a reason. We are beset
by some sort of psychic
or, uh, technological
mmm, abomination
to, to disrupt our senses.
And if we continue blindly
down this road, we will wind up the same
as them, no doubt.
Reeb's going to take just a brief moment
staring at, at Pi before
pinching the brow of my nose.
Pi, we cannot
determine if there is a psychic discrepancy
until we can remove Lord
One's neck brace. Oh,
I started to see.
I saw that we are not in a grand
room. It, it, it seemed discordant
for me from the moment I walked in.
It is far too large for the schematics.
We are inside a deception,
and if we continue forward, we
will be deceived.
That's why we are going back,
Pi. No. We're going back
out of the room. You're not listening
to me. This room might have
the secrets we need.
And, and, and, this
person, I don't know exactly
what their character was before their current
state, but he told
me that there was a force
that created the ocean.
This was not something
that was there when they got there. I feel
we have more pressing matters
to deal with, Brain. No. We should be leaving
now. He is right.
And stepping in
through the doorway
is prisoner
Ro Hector.
Yeah, Ro Hector.
I see that he joined us.
The, the,
the riot
reached its way to my part of the prison.
I managed to get
out and
I asked them where you were.
Chonkas told me where to go.
He said you were here.
Well, here we are.
We are just about to get a move on.
We need to take the elevator up and re-secure
our equipment and then get this blast
and brace off of Lorne.
Yes, off we go.
So, let's take the elevator.
Ro Hector, do you know the way? What?
Hold on. Hold on.
You.
You. Yes. Hold on.
Is this Lorne?
What?
No, I'm trying
to just move things along.
Oh, oh. We're on good pace.
Don't, don't, don't feel like you have to push anything.
You're good.
Tell me the memories I should know.
Do you not remember anything
that we had together, Brain?
No memories?
What is, um,
where do you live?
I live in the debt collector in a closet.
What is the name of your beard?
Fuck, even I
don't remember.
That is something.
I actually don't fucking remember.
Ow, fuck.
Bairdicus?
No, no, no. Here's how that joke goes.
Lorne says, I don't care.
Pye says, you know, that's correct. I don't care either.
True.
That is what he would say.
And, and like,
Capernicus? There's Capernicus.
There's Capernicus. That's right.
Ro Hector sort of looks past and sees, like,
Lorne looming over the
preacher with his
knuckles, you know, bared, and looks.
Like, tilts his head slightly.
That,
that man,
that is Dorox
96 Mach 12.
I'm sorry? Say again?
He was a Skitari
aspirant who was assigned
to our outpost.
Strange. Why is he here?
I do not know. I will share
with you the information I have, and perhaps,
you may...
He was too junior. He was too
junior to leave the
research station and come
with me into the tomb complex.
He told me... He had not been augmented
yet.
I was informed
that he was some sort of
member
of your cohort. He told me he was
a preacher. I believe he was put
here by an outside force.
Whatever outside force is
controlling Defakebe.
And I...
As I began to speak
with him, he began to remember some of his
old self. He remembered our forge world,
and he remembered
the history of Shady Rock,
how you summoned an ocean,
and as he spoke, my
body began to rebel against
itself, as though there was something,
something trying to stop me from
asking these questions.
No ocean on Shady Rock.
That world is a
lifeless shell.
Listen, we have
had a great deal of time trying to
determine what is going on with Shady Rock,
but because we are not there right
now, trying to explain it would be pointless.
I
disagree.
Okay. I don't know what that was a reference to.
You must understand that
there may be more
to just Shady Rock than just
the world being
wrong.
If that did...
If that world is as lifeless
as Rohekta says,
and even this priest
is not a priest, he's something else,
transformed, transfixed,
that could extend
further out throughout the prison.
It would explain why...
I don't...
It would explain why he was so lucky, why...
The High Judge
was obsessed with his family's jewels. There was more going on.
I... I'm sorry,
Reed, but I... I have to
go with pie on this one.
Zedek, you are right. Even if we
leave the prison, that might not
end things.
Room might
be our chance to uncover
what is actually going on.
All this time, we thought it was
Defakerby, a pathetic
human being who controlled the minds
of an entire world.
Who managed to somehow be behind
everything on Shady Rock.
Defakerby.
Who brought everything here.
I'm not sure if that's the case.
If we are... If we have been...
All these people have been
deceived into thinking things they are not, or being
people, living lives that never
have even existed.
If that world is dead and this chapel isn't even
real, who's to say that Defakerby
even exists? Have we
all been deceived by some
greater entity?
Xenos or otherwise?
Are we all being led blind
by something that... We're chasing
smoke! And during this entire
speech you're giving, Zedek,
the camera has been zooming in
on you towards your face
and getting closer and closer
and closer
until your face fills the entire
screen. And then
when you finish it, it snaps back, and
all of you are crammed tightly into
a service... into a
basically a service closet.
That has one Vox unit
on the wall. And the
illusion of the vast
background around you is gone.
I think we have bigger problems
than a very fat man with a very
small gun.
Oh, fuck.
Well...
Sir! Sir!
Sir! Captain Zedek, sir!
And you hear the footsteps of
running individuals.
Yes! What is it?
One of the elevators!
It came down!
Yes. I called it.
It's ready.
We need to get a move
on now, gentlemen. Time is
burning.
Then let it burn.
No! We don't
want time to waste.
We've seen through part of this illusion.
Come on. Let's go, everybody.
Now is the time. Now is the time.
And Lorne, you start leading the way
and as you do start
moving away from this now, like,
strange closet,
coming out from a side
is Chunkus.
Hey, everybody.
Is that the demon?
Is it?
I'm not sure why I'm here.
Is it, uh...
Okay, let's just go.
All right, 13, take care.
You can take control of him. I don't know what the fuck you're doing.
It's like...
Order the war here.
Order the war here.
Is Chunkus going to stay down
here to maintain order?
Chunkus is gone, man.
He bailed. He's dealing with other shit.
No, no, no. I get that.
I just wanted to make sure...
We'll take care of him later.
Okay, absolutely. So yeah, he comes out.
He sort of nods and then very quickly
turns and starts bashing
in more skulls as there are
like looting prisoners
or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Reeb, why are you rushing us
to move so quickly? Why are you...
Why are you...
I've made them turn on themselves,
chat. It's every GM's
dream.
Gentlemen,
I hate to break it to you, but if we want to get
off the station, we need to make moves
to get off the station.
Reeb is correct
in some circumstances,
though I am surprised
and concerned
with...
This space station and the fates of
everyone else upon it is secondary
compared to this conspiracy.
Now, we can move forward and we can
find this, but I need your guarantee
that the moment we've finished
with this, we are going to do everything
we can to understand
what is happening here.
I'm assuming we're all in the elevator at this point.
Probably going towards it.
Dang.
Great timing, Reeb.
We are on the elevator
and we're taking it up, so that would be
a good time to just...
This elevator does have some lengthy
time to get up there, so it's like
the elevator, music is playing. Behind you,
not pictured, are clearly the five
prisoners who Zedek has taken
as his devotees.
They're hiding.
They're all behind, swollen,
they're all behind as the North...
Okay.
Alright, let's get this cleared up out of the way.
You all seem to be under the assumption
that there is some kind of psychic
conspiracy going on, and while
I believe
that there is something strange going on,
I would like to confirm it before
I go making asinine decisions
without any sort of proof.
Tangible proof.
You just lived it! There was
no cathedral! You were in a broom closet
the entire time!
Yes! Psychics can do that!
Da fucker be can do that from a
system away?
The elevator needs to shake.
And then it stops.
Ah, bloody hell.
Now what?
Go on.
It shook a bit
and then it stopped.
I know, that's what I'm doing. I want to see
if I can mess with it to keep it going.
It's still moving, like, it shook,
like, some kind of impact.
It stopped. I thought you said it shook
and stopped. No, no, no, no.
Let's keep the shouting to a minimum.
My point
is not that he is doing it from somewhere far
away. He has clearly left this person
here in an endeavor to
do something.
But there may be more elements that he
has left here. He left Rohector here.
He left your Skitari
here.
He may have left other things here that could be
causing us trouble that we were not properly
acquainted with. The elevator shakes
again. And then it stops.
Let me break down what you are saying.
You still believe
that after hearing reliable
testimony from two members
of Lemuria who were there
before, presumably, Defakebi
went upon the planet,
that Defakebi
was able to synthesize an ocean
with psychic powers.
I am not saying that Defakebi
produced it. I'm saying that the
thing was below the waves.
You saw the thing that was below
the ocean. What's saying
that that didn't do it?
This time the lights go out.
Because if it
did, then the ocean
would have disappeared when it died, or we would
have seen some sort of evidence of it.
The lights went out.
The lights went back on again.
I, uh, goddamn.
I guess I don't have any of my shit,
so, well.
I'll, uh, I can fuck with the- oh, the lights still
go off? They're back on now.
I'm going- give me a moment.
I'm going to crawl up. Is there
a, like, hatch on the top where
you can go to the top of the elevator?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to lift
that hatch sword in hand.
Yeah. Uh, you
pop it up with your shank
improvised greatsword and peer up.
Uh, through the darkness, uh, you can
see that there's small lumen lights.
It looks like the elevator now has
emergency lumens on.
And you can see, um, there's
like, nothing
obstructing.
And suddenly the whole area shakes, including
the elevator.
It's not the elevator.
It seems to be the station.
Are there a reason to hurry this
along?
Something may be happening on the outside.
Let's go, boys. They're trying to
bury the truth.
And as you continue that discussion,
you come out,
and the elevator opens into a
room of pure darkness.
Lights are out again.
Can I interface to
somehow restore them?
There's no new
sphere access here. In fact, you're
detecting, like, even from the
panel in the elevator,
there's something going on. Everything
is extra locked down now.
...
...
Going forward,
stumbling through darkness, I'm like,
Brain! I need you to be my flashlight.
I grab Brain, then I like
twist his head a little bit so his eyes
get brighter and go
I point him around like a flashlight.
Yeah, we'll have my
interlumens at max.
Yeah. You can see that
you are in a... in some kind of observation
chamber. It's completely
black. The shutters here are
closed. You didn't take this
elevator before so you're not sure there there's a deactivated cogitator unit in the corner and
then there's an industrial uh sealed door at the opposite end of the room that is like mag locked
you can tell that this room is is meant to basically uh be a lockdown point in case someone
actually managed to get up the elevator hmm seems like a security lockdown very heavy one
the area shakes again can we see if we can get the shadows open i need to see if we can look out
can i can we move around yeah point pi right around go to pirate you see anything we can do
uh i can i make some sort of tech check to
deal with these
shutters and whatnot i mean yeah like uh rebend and brain both of you can see the
cogitator unit here might be able to access some of the systems you'd want to give me a
tech check on it uh if one of you go bye help us out make like an awareness check or something
and see what we got excellent eight and a complication yeah that's what we needed right
now i'll help yeah yeah i'll make it a word uh yeah you
knew one to go one that's of one to it uh zedek you're trying but you're like in darkness the
only thing you've got is the emergency lumens from the from the elevator you're trying to get a sense
of things oh wait a second actually can i i don't know how bright las weaponry can be
can i like overcharge the las gun to kick off i really want you to think this through
you have a weapon which can literally obliterate a human's torso and you know we're gonna wear
a little azul lately did you know we drew me i wanted to find that bullet when i got back
my side I mean I gotta home am going to get through that but i want to look around through
And you want to go randomly firing it in a station,
which we've already learned could have explosives.
Like, it's not how that works, though.
Well, if he fired at the ceiling,
he could probably, like, minutely, very quickly...
And hit something and have something collapse on us?
No, I mean just the ambient light on the weapon.
I don't know if there's ambient...
Like, is it, like, an arm or a glass gun?
Like, a glowing red grenade.
As, like, Captain Zedek draws the last gun and prepares,
and Lorne is like, what the fuck?
Pybrane, you have managed to activate the systems,
and you can open the shutters.
The complication, however,
is that it triggers some kind of back-end protocol
that you weren't anticipating.
So as the shutters begin to slowly grind open,
the shutters begin to open.
The elevator door closes,
leaving the four of you alone in this room
as you can hear the elevator begin its descent protocols.
But you can see the shutters are now grinding up,
slowly revealing more dark light from beyond.
You start hearing this, like, shouting, like...
And what sounds like distant weapons fire
all muffled from the ceiling.
From the glass, the sort of...
You're assuming it's weapons-grade glass of some kind
on the other side of the shutter.
The little light that's peering through,
you can kind of get the sense
that this is overlooking the hangar area
that you came in into the station on.
But now you're starting to hear, like, these...
Oh! Ah!
And then...
And, like, the discharge of weapons.
You see flash or whatever.
No, no, obviously, like...
Wishing he could cast...
Like, he tries to cast it,
but obviously the caller, like, goes...
And he's like...
Yeah, he kind of, like,
rolls back a little bit as he cries.
At point pibrain at the source of the sound.
We must follow the...
The sounds of conflict.
Yeah, come on, boys.
Let's see what's going on.
You see...
You manage to peer through the sort of opening...
The opening shutters to look down
into the sort of red-tinged hangar area.
And you don't get the full view of it.
However, what you do see are several Harbites,
like, making a backwards retreat into the area.
They've raised up these combat shotguns
and they're firing them.
You can hear shouts.
You almost hear some kind of, like,
ecstatic screeching or shouting.
And...
And...
And then one of the Harbites goes down,
clutching near his neck, like, scrambling,
and then just starts shaking on the ground.
Can I go towards him?
No, no, you're in, like, a room
that is probably 20 meters above this area,
cut off by industrial glass.
We're still in the observation post.
Yeah.
In the hangar below.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I figured.
Yeah, yeah.
And so you're seeing all of this,
and then the other Harbite goes to raise some kind of weapon.
And then this bolt of pure blackness
just strikes him,
and he disappears.
Hmm.
Uh-oh.
Something coming out of where they were retreating from?
And very shortly after,
a figure emerges onto the deck of the hangar.
A figure in strange, curved,
and almost serrated blue armor
with light green,
almost on, like, this head crest
that's got a metal plating on it.
And as this figure walks out,
behind him are two other soldiers,
you assume, in the same style,
though nowhere near as austere.
And they're carrying between them, somehow,
through some kind of gravity device,
the Supreme Judge.
These figures begin moving through the hangar.
And as this happens,
the figure in blue armor lifts up this taloned claw,
sort of beckoning,
moving forward.
And a figure you can't quite see
pops out briefly,
and then tosses a device,
some kind of small device,
onto the ground in front of this blue armored figure.
And there is a rip in reality,
a tear,
and the blue armored figure walks through this tear in reality,
followed quickly by the other two,
who are holding the Supreme Judge.
And you just hear,
you just hear this, like, sobbing,
muffled through the glass,
You can't do it to the world!
Until they all step through this rip in reality.
Before they do.
Yes?
I'm just gonna yell out to them.
Yeah?
Cowards!
And you yell up,
and they don't even seem to take note of you.
and they walk through this yeah we're behind like a thick plain glass and all that yeah no but if
they can hear us yeah yeah oh they like it's definite that they could probably have heard
you but they pay no attention yeah and as as soon as they step through the lights in the hangar all
die and put you back into pitch blackness and you hear this sort of crackling on the vox
uh that seems to be like a station-wide announcement somehow
though it almost like rings in your skulls and you just hear this
the hunt begins
and uh we're actually gonna end our episode there a bit early today
hooray thank you so much thurston for another episode
thank you all so much
yeah
hope everybody had a great day
everyone had a super duper fun time this episode with all the things but i just want everyone to
be aware that uh uh basically this is the last one of this year uh we'll be taking a break for
the rest of december so this will be the uh last branch of this year uh we have some folks have
family they want to see uh i got a lot of background stuff to do i'm moving soon all
this other stuff whole bunch of stuff is happening for all that so i want to say i don't want to go
around a horn say and say thank you to all the wonderful people who make warhams fantastic
starting off with the person who plays pyre brain played by speaker d hi you can find me on twitter
at at super snake kick you can also find me on youtube at speaker d and by the muses many murders
usually i'm happy to see the turk elder up here yes indeed next up we have reeb van horn
on
you
the editorial acolyte played by the wonderful erin dill yeah you can meet me on twitter at
at erin dillio and by the way chat like you guys i don't get a little upset about the cliffhangers
like this is in the tts verse cliffhangers are natural it's what we do we're terrible writers
it's fine you have to come back next episode back in uh in january and i am and i am so on the bear
i have been playing lawn the rl sanction psycho you had all the stuff currently that's what i'm
what i do it's all of my stuff next up we have captain zedek our rogue trader captain of the
debt collector ship played by hulky crow that is me i am hulky crow you can pretty much only find me
on at hulky crow on twitter so that's the only social media i kind of keep up to date um wow
that's not that for a fucking season finale dun dun dun and the game master who's brought
everything together thurston hillman thank you again for such
an amazing episode hey chat hey hey listeners remember remember when i promised you all
i talk like a pirate episode
okay so a couple things as we start going to the end of it and everything else a couple things
couple things to address uh one for the pie hard poster one for scheduling next all that uh we
i can't put a solid date right now i'm actually going to talk to our folks here uh they're going
to figure out the scheduling stuff remember warhams.tv is where we put the schedule on
and we also if you follow us on twitter and also on my discord all like you just scroll down and
you should be able to find all that stuff or just type warhams.tv you'll find our website uh we'll
have a lot of news and information there to basically uh keep you guys informed the schedule
and on twitter we'll also post it up on there the updated schedule so as we figure that out because
holidays and everything else we're going to be able to do that so i'm going to be able to do that
and my life is changing a lot right now so it's all the other cool stuff so stay tuned for that
unfortunately we did not hit the thousand concurrent viewer thing for the poster but
one of the things is that a lot of people here really work really really hard to really spread
the news of warhams and everyone really bust their ass off i've noticed to like tell people
on reddit and everything else so because of the pretty much perseverance and how awesome people
went over to go talk to folks and tell people we exist
i think
we should just fucking release it anyway people really fucking came together and our community is
really really awesome for it even when we got close and all that other stuff but i feel like
a really dickish thing to be like well fuck you didn't have it bye we're gonna i'm gonna go ahead
and get the poster prepped i'll put it out on like designed by humans and red bubble and some
other places so people go ahead and snag it i wish i could send one free to like fucking everybody
but unfortunately i'm not that rich so i'll try to make sure to make it as cheap as i can make it
on the pricing thing so it's cheap as fuck as for people as much as i can but that's
mostly up to the websites i can't control it too much but um i'll make sure that happens
so you guys can get the poster just stay tuned to our uh to like twitter and stuff when it comes
live i'll probably community post on youtube as well and a whole bunch of other stuff
so we could basically try to figure that out uh additionally uh there's that there's that
warhams should be back next year i plan to be moving at the end of january so some
complications might happen there we might have to skip an episode or so and obviously that
really kind of hurt some things for warhams or whatever so we appreciate everyone's support
uh i just think we're still uh hooking on for warhammer fantasy uh we're trying to get all
that together i think uh one of uh speaker d's friends has decided to join us uh she's she has
been amazing so far and uh we'll be trying to make her character i don't need to sit down and
get a solid date to where we're going to make her character a uchat could help make her warhammer
fantasy character like we do with mine and speaker d's character and uh we'll try to figure it out
bagpipe fire
yeah and arendelle's definitely going to try to give one as well and all the other stuff so
for all of that uh there's that that and that and of course for anyone who missed a thing please pay
attention to warhams website as well i'll be putting up a news update on how you know future
warhams stuff is going on new year you know new stuff but really really pay attention to our
social channels to really stay updated and also receive some big news that we'll be putting up
there uh definitely want you guys to check that out and i'll see you guys next time
we're trying to hit a goal on patreon so we can afford the fantasy warhams episode because we want
to make the production quality bigger and better and also use some of that to make the warhams 40k
one bigger and better so we greatly appreciate it the people help out with that and stuff because
you have no idea how much you guys have been fucking helping like it has been amazing for
the support so we're going to sit down try to organize the stuff try to make things better for
you guys explain a whole bunch of stuff so really website twitter is a good way to stay informed you
need the website again and i'll see you guys next time bye bye
it is warhams.tv and uh if you'll find the patreon you'll find cast descriptions all that
other cool stuff and also podcasts etc we're trying to improve everything there's been some
stuff i would really really improve on and from feedback and all that other stuff i feel we could
do better and uh i'll be working really hard for all of you so uh as our kind of last episode of
the year you guys would say any closing words as we uh hop off here well i'll go by an order here
just to make it a speaker do you have anything
anything to use or anything else like that yeah absolutely guys um i just want to say uh this
warhams thing has been the absolute highlight of my year um i understand you know for a lot of
people that's kind of like a low bar to set but this is one of the most exciting things that i've
been involved in in some time i'm incredibly happy and proud of our community i love showing up to
this and making you idiots laugh uh i love being with these idiots and playing these
tabletop games i just want to give a huge shout out to you guys which i know is the most like
kind of you know milk toast supplication of goodwill possible uh in particular i want to
give a big shout out to our fan artists like skelly bean read this all these really talented
people that are constantly making these incredibly great art memes whatever every time i see it it's
it gives me the great big warm yeah we've been fuzzy feelings we get super excited
with fan art so if you're in my if you're in the zone the bear discord which you can always find
the link uh if you scroll down or go to the about section for mobile on twitch you'll find the link
to this thing and um basically if you're going to go in the fan art section for it then uh if you
are an artist and you really like to send us the fan we we fucking love doing it and normally when
i find something i super duper like i will buy it off you probably be like i really like that art
can i buy that and uh you guys have been fucking kick ass for it so far for that so thank you
for that keep being badass keep being talented and to steal the words matthew mercer don't forget
to love each other and uh mr arundel you have some closing words um it's been a fun year uh
no i'm lying it's been terrible no it's working on these projects in general has been a very
exhausting portion of my year and i'm hoping ideally that it has been worth it for at least
people because well you know it's tiresome there's a lot of there's a lot of things that
go into it so there's a lot of effort one has to put into this stuff and as much as i wish i could
just you know sit back roll i can just goof off with it i just at least hope that it's been fun
for a lot of you guys as well or you know admin oh because it's it's it we're we're here it's
it's going towards the end of it i have no illusions that next year is going to be any
better but you know it's it's good to enjoy the little time that you can get so we just gotta
just gotta keep moving on keep moving on i'm tired next up here we'll pass the ball hulky
would you like to say any words to chat as we leave off here sure i i mean certainly i'm gonna
have the sentiments of everybody everybody else this year has been tough it's it has certainly
been a roller coaster of highs and lows for personal reasons or general reasons with stuff
that's going on but through it all warhams has been a fantastic highlight same with what speaker
speaker said i have really enjoyed coming in and doing this with you guys it's great just
making stupid jokes making an ass of myself in character or just making other people laugh i
when i came into this i think i said this multiple times to multiple people if i can make people laugh
at the end of this or make people happy that's all that ultimately matters and this community has
been fantastic you guys show up every week or every every week we do this and even beyond that
just never failing to have a good time or throwing your jokes in the mix the complications the
servers what have you it has been a wild ride and i think i personally i was touched by the
handful of people who have either reached out to me on twitter or discord said thank you very much
for doing this you guys are
and i'm talking about everybody uh thanking us for doing this show because of how much
it has impacted either they've had a rough year what have you and this has been a highlight for
them that i mean it it touches me it touches my cruel and cold heart that i hate to say i have
emotion but genuinely speaking i'm happy to have helped make a difference in other people's lives
and really gotten the privilege to work with everybody yes you guys are fantastic and
in spite of everything that's going forward take heart be good to each other
do good things in the year coming ahead don't lose hope also sneed thank you
true and thurston have the last one oh i do i get the last one shit uh you know all the
lovey-dovey stuff everyone else just said um etc etc etc for real like the fan the fan
reaction is has blown me away i mean i sometimes get a little little snarky with this gm doesn't
allow people but the players to do anything and uh just note that that's just you know that's
that's mostly a bit for amusement on everyone's sake same same with when i joke about like
murdering our our player characters here that's that's not actually something i'm setting out to
do intentionally it's just good good energy that we have in the show all of us get along this has
been a like great thing we're
super keen on keeping it going um i will differentiate myself from the others and
just be like a shill for a second and say like i really appreciate all the people who've been
backing us on the on the patreon that's been kind of one of the metrics we use to see how we're
doing it's been really cool um because like i know zorn and i've talked about it a lot but
we are we're not at the point yet where we've got where we feel we have enough content on there
that's like unique content for it and yet people are still really supporting us and we know we
want to put more and more of our content on there and we're not at the point yet where we're not
content on there that's gonna gonna be awesome and unique and really reward people for you know
basically like supporting us it's something that we're really passionate about with fantasy coming
down the line we got got plans there uh finally i just want to say that obviously this is kind of
the the end of our season so to speak um barring one more episode that's kind of the the wrap-up
for the prison arc as you may have guessed uh but i've already started talking with alpha about what
season two is going to look like and i'm going to be talking about the end of the season two
uh we're going to take a different a little bit of a different tone approach to how we're going to
structure things i think it'll be approachable for everyone uh it's going to have a like a lot
of stuff i think people are really going to enjoy and i'm looking forward to uh to telling some new
stories in the new year and having y'all along for the ride and torturing all of these players
also my cat says hi hi cat that's that's me i love you i love all your faces too
you can't see them but i love them
thank you everyone for subscribing thank you everyone who's donated thank you everyone who's
up to them patrons patreon thank you everyone who's just being here you've all been absolutely
wonderful and we hope to see you all next time oh my one there we go all right see you guys next
time please be safe please keep being wonderful we will see you all next year love you all please
be safe goodbye
i'm gonna go pet my cat now goodbye happy holidays merry christmas and see you on discord
yes
so
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
Thanks for watching!